So here we are: the official last day of The Next Chapter’s Wreck This Journal. This is supposed to be the day of wreckoning (so puntastic!), where my journal should have been dropped, flung, walked, mailed, showered & slept with, beautified, uglified & just basically…wrecked.

Well, I ain’t done yet! When I first started I wondered how I was going to stretch this out over a long month, but now I wonder if another one would even be sufficient to complete it. I’ve realized, though, that it doesn’t matter how long this journey takes me, as I am thoroughly enjoying the ride. Even the scary parts that force me to go outside my comfort zone – even them! – I can see now that it’s all a part of me becoming artistic in a way that I never thought I would – on paper. When I take my 90-180 minutes of Me Time a week, I know that my journal will call me to come out and play.

I did a lot of wrecking this week, starting with my envelope doodles (& yes, I was on the phone. It was a long call!):

…continuing with the one word that fuels all I do: (more…)

I know I’ve had issues. I know I’ve had fear. I know I’ve been missing weeks & being down on myself & been wearing my poopypants. I know. It’s been sucky and lame-o for me, too.

But no more.

Wrecking my journal is not a chore. It’s not a scary monster out to make me feel dumb. It is an instrument for freedom, and creativity, & fun. I started here, at this fun/silly/messy place, but came to a complete stop at one point or another. So, in order to start again, I didn’t just do whatever a random page told me to do – like I said I’d do in my last post – but instead, I hand-picked my fun.

“What looks like fun?”, I asked myself. “Oh, this page – where you sample substances in your home based on color. Let’s see what I have…oh, some sunscreen & some lotion, I’ll finger paint that on (& call the mess in the middle “sunotion”)…and oh, there’s obviously some red wine & red wine vinegar, so I’ll pour that on…The red wine vinegar isn’t showing up as red! Huh! Oh well, that’s weird. Now I have this honey for a yellowish color & a few drops of this vanilla to blen-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”  That’s when the entire bottle of vanilla poured onto the book, because, uh, I bake so often that I (didn’t at all, in any way shape or form) realized that the bottle of vanilla didn’t have a top to contain it in any way, so when you pour it out you pour it out.

(more…)

Here we are, week 6 of Wreck This Journal, and I’m at such a breaking point right now. OK, maybe not a breaking point, but kind of a standstill. A standstill for wusses. I’ve discovered that I am so embarrassed to do anything weird & public with the journal (like walk it)- or even ask someone to wreck it for me (like one page instructs) – that I just completely, uh, stopped wrecking. For a week. A week! That’s why there was no entry last week, although I came up with various excuses that consciously convinced me that they were the real reason I wasn’t wrecking (although subconsciously I knew better). So I’m still on the “safe” pages, like the ones I wrecked this week (which can’t even be all pretty like they usually are, because Picnik is stinking today & won’t compress my photos! Grr!):

Even though the stamp page has been covered, it’s way too neat & orderly for me. I have a feeling that I’m gonna keep piling on the stamps until we’re officially done at the end of the month.

I could not figure out how to cover the hole at the bottom of my funnel, so the water kept pouring through. I finally stuck my pinky finger in there, filled it up, & drank the water as quickly as possible before it all spilled out. I think I probably drank a quarter of what I poured in there. I was such a water chaser. (more…)

GUYS! GUYS!  IT’S MY 200TH POST! Holy crapballs that’s a lot. I wanted to arrange for it to rain balloons & streamers & ice cream cake in the homes of all my readers, but I just didn’t have the time. So, I picked a new, exciting, awesomely awesome way to celebrate - a  video of me! Talking & chewing paper! At the end of this post! It’s just like ice cream cake, right? Right? Right.

I’m getting so into the book, it’s been kinda sorta taking over my life. In addition to all the pages you see below (& the video! Eek!), I have started 3 or 4 more pages that aren’t quite done yet. I am loving this process & am constantly thinking about what I can use for the book while out & about in the world. I’m also taking the Perfectionism Vampire & punching him in the face, while embracing my inner 6 year old & allowing myself to play for playing sake. This group is filled with amazing artists, & while I love seeing their creative, beautiful, inspiring work I have found that I’m not comparing myself to them anymore (as in “They know what they’re doing/are amazing & I don’t/am sucky”). My pages are my pages. They’re there as a showcase of me, & if they aren’t as creative or beautiful or inspiring as the real live artists in the group, well…they are, because they’re mine. It’s a really nice feeling, letting go of this competitive streak while allowing the pages of others to inspire me.

The big disappointment this week is that my journal wrecking date at the High Line with Magpie this week was canceled due to the rain. I read in an article dated June 19th that NYC has gotten double the amount than usual, & the month was still 11 days from ending! I’m putting my sights on July for Magpie + When I Grow Up wreckage!

So, without further adieu, the damage for the week:

Notice the end all the way at the top? That’s when my pen decided to commit page suicide: (more…)

I have a terrible secret: I did not take The Jamie Challenge this week. I know, I know! I chickened out. I was a wuss. I didn’t do the page that most scared me, but I know that I have to build up to it. So, I’m announcing it here first (hold me accountable, people):

By this time next week, I will have taken my book out on a walk.

(Shiver).

But this week, I did the fun/easy stuff:

(more…)

I cracked open Wreck This Journal on Saturday afternoon, leafing through the pages & knowing I needed to start somewhere. Every page held another choice, and I knew I could pick whichever one I wanted. So, where was the perfect place to begin? I already took my shower, so showering with the book was out. I didn’t have a piece of string handy – and I was on a tight schedule – so I couldn’t take the book out for a walk. I didn’t feel confident with starting with something “artistic”, like tracing my hand (don’t I have to “make” it something afterwards?), so I was happy when one of the pages called to me, “Pour, Spill, Drip, Spit, Fling Your Coffee Here.” I was drinking coffee! I still had some at the bottom of my cup, and left in the carafe! I could paint this page with coffee! I didn’t have a paint brush, but that didn’t stop me. I had what all dutiful Jewish girls from Long Island have: make-up brushes!

I grabbed one, cracked the spine of the book, dipped the brush in the coffee, and started painting. Hm. Too light. I couldn’t do anything, make anything, see anything! Maybe if I took the brush and splattered the page like all those spin art sweatshirts I made in 1988…eh. Nothing too exciting. Maybe if I take the carafe and pour the coffee onto the page, and then paint from there? Yeah, that’ll work!

Well, it didn’t really work…it made a mess! It leaked through 6 pages of the book AND onto the spine! And ya know what? That wasn’t enough for me! I laughed as I closed the book on The Giant Coffee Mess of 2009 & watched the remains spill onto the kitchen counter. I then opened the book back up & tried to makeup-brush the coffee into something art-like, but realized the mess was just as it was supposed to be. A mess. An ugly mess at that! And I loved it! I was having fun, and trying something new, and enjoying the journey with my journal.

So that’s what I’m going into this crazy, fun, scary project with: Allowing myself to make a giant, ugly mess. For a recovering perfectionist like me, it’s the best way to start. It takes the pressure off that anything needs to be “pretty”, or “nice”. If I focus on “mess”, I can focus on the artist in me that wants to get out, have fun, find her voice, and enjoy the process along the way.

Look at all the messes I made this week (& you can see the remains of the coffee on each & every one)!: (more…)

You can now purchase Wreck This Journal in my Spectacular Stuff Store!

I am so super excited to be part of The Next Chapter’s book blogging group for Wreck This Journal that starts today! Ever since I found the work of Keri Smith, I’ve been wanting to jump in with both hands and make a mess, gain a new perspective, & create. Something always held me back though because, well, I ain’t no artist! Even my stick figures aren’t so, uh, sticky. It was a great excuse to keep my hands clean & not make a mess.

But then my virtual buddy Jamie Ridler announced that Wreck This Journal would be the next book in The Next Chapter series, & the one & only word that popped into my mind was: “Yes”. The extrovert in me loves the virtual support I’ll receive in joining a group of almost 150 bloggers (& counting!) that will withhold their judgment on my scribbles and my stick figures and my messes (right, guys?) .

There’s something just so freeing about taking a nice new book & being forced to crap all over it. If you wanna get dirty with us, there’s still time! Click here & scroll down to the bottom of the page to join the fun. Meanwhile, c’mon back here every Friday until July 31st to see the mess I’m making!