It’s December, people. Freakin’ A. That means we’re just days away from New Years Eve, and the resolutions that everyone is itching to make (or avoid).

Think back on the year - your regrets, your goals, your accomplishments. Then look ahead, but only in a general sense. What does 2009 feel like? Where does 2009 take place for you?  Then ask yourself:

What action do you need to take right now to move your life forward into 2009?

As usual, I’ll post my answer in the comments section. I hope that you do the same!

To see the other installments of Tough (Question) Tuesday go here.

“To Ensure Misery Strive To Achieve Perfection In All That You Do” by London illustrator Jody Barton.

The other Motivation Monday installments can be found here.

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Sorry for missing Freakin’ (Great Links) Friday this week! I had to chillax (don’t you hate that word?) with my hubby’s fam (who is now my fam!) and just couldn’t drag myself to the computer. Look for a double-chocked entry this week!

What I’m Grateful for This Year

by Michelle Ward

I’m grateful for the love I receive every minute of every day from my sweet, funny, kind, intelligent, handsome husband. I’m grateful that he asked me to be a part of Team Awesome for the rest of my days, and that I took his name so the world would know it. I’m grateful to be his wife and will forever remain proud of the man that will always stand beside me.

I’m grateful for the wedding of our dreams that happened just 10 short weeks ago - the amazing vendors, the lack of rain, the family and friends that went above and beyond. I’ll think of that day every day and will be filled with love, happiness and gratitude.

I’m grateful to my family, who just keeps growing - whether through marriage, babies, or friendship.

I’m grateful to my Mom, who remains my best friend even when I sometimes (mistakenly) think I don’t want her to be.

I’m grateful to my clients, who give me the honor & responsibility of being their coach, as well as the opportunity to become a more kick-ass one each and every day.

I’m grateful to my coaches and teachers for infusing within me both personal and professional knowledge.

I’m grateful to Julie Bestry, who has unselfishly made me her pet project and allowed me to really clear my mind - figuratively and literally - so that I’m able to, yes, Grow Up.

I’m grateful for this blog and for all of those who read it. You’ll never know the thrill I get with each and every (non-spam) comment I receive.

I’m grateful for all of those who believe in this business and my worth as a coach and a friend. It’s given me both confidence and motivation to make this dream come true.

I’m grateful to Opening Doors Theater Company, who has opened the door for me to work with an amazing group of people who are committed to producing fun, wonderful, quality shows. Thank you for keeping that door open so I can allow musical theater to be a part of my life.

I’m grateful for my day job that gives me the financial support I need.

I’m grateful for being able to live in the greatest city in the world - one that’s full of possibilities, energy, and good times.

I’m grateful for my friends, who personify the meaning of “friendship” every day.

So……what are you grateful for?

*If “Sorry-Grateful” from Company started going through your head when you read the title of this post, you get 10 Sondheim nerd points.

It’s the Tough (Question) Tuesday Thanksgiving edition! The man above must be questioning how much turkey he should eat. Hence the tongue hanging out of his mouth.

OK, enough with the funny business.

Thank of a challenge you’re facing right now. Make it a really sucky challenge. Now ask yourself:

“Is there anything in this situation I can find to be grateful for?”

I’ll be the first to post my answer in the comments section. Or will I? (Insert evil laugh here)

To see the other installments of Tough (Question) Tuesday go here.

From Keri Smith:

“Note to Self” from the portfolio of Alex Strowski:
They’re easy to say, but harder to remember.
To see all of the Motivation Monday installments, go here.
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As an aside, I want to let you guys know that I’ll be starting a Book Review on the site over the next few weeks! Take a look at the books listed on my Stuff to help ya discover what you wanna be when you grow up page & let me know which one you want to see reviewed first!

Since I started becoming more vocal about my life coaching practice as well as my niche, I’ve heard from  a few people who have similar stories. None stuck me more, though, than the email I got from fellow life coach Kristen Beireis. While Kristen is a life coach who works with other life coaches, she and I seemed to have lead the same life once upon a time:

I wanna grow up & be an actress? Check.

NYC will be where it’ll all happen? Check.

I’m sick of pounding the pavement & I want something else for myself? Check.

I don’t want to be stuck in some cubicle for the rest of my life, but instead I want to find something (else) I can be passionate about? Check.

While Kristen decided to move back home after coming to those above-mentioned realizations & I stayed in NYC, the end result is the same. We stopped pounding (our head on) the pavement, discovered life coaching, and are keeping the acting “thing” in our life out of love & passion - not necessity. Kristen performed this weekend for the first time in 3 years (Congrats Kristen!).

With the emails we exchanged, I relived that heartache that I went through while letting go of my lifelong dream. I told Kristen that I felt we were “kindred spirits”, a term that’s so hippy-dippy I cringed in using it, but couldn’t find another accurate phrase to verbalize how I felt. It reignited why I’m here, at When I Grow Up, looking to work with creative types that are going through that same sense of loss, and heartbreak, and grief as both Kristen & I did.

To go down a creative path, and try to make it both soul-fulfilling and financially successful, takes heart, and effort, blood, sweat, and tears. Getting into a top school, like I did, makes you think you got The Golden Ticket. The acceptance letter came from NYU - early acceptance, in December - and it was reassurance and confirmation. “Yes, you are good enough. Yes, this will be your life. Yes, you belong here. Yes, this will happen for you.”

And then it’s doesn’t. OK, maybe it does to a point. You get great reviews, you land a manager, you get a callback for an under-5 on Law & Order….and then you hear “You’re so unique, you’re so different from anyone else we’ve seen - and we don’t know what to do with you” or “You’re such an incredible character actress. You’ll be working all the time when you hit 40!” And the jobs that roll in are ones far, far away (and for far, far less than a livable wage) from the life you created for yourself - the city you love, the friends you love, the family you love. And, eventually, the man you love. And you don’t want to leave. And you don’t want to audition. And you want some security in your old age, and not to have to wipe out your savings (should you have any) to see a doctor every time you have a cold.

You take this truth and carry it around with you for many, many months - because how can you speak it aloud? How can you admit it to yourself? How can you willingly lose that part of your identity? How can you take that dream that’s been yours for 20 years and say, “No thank you. You’re not needed here. This is your eviction notice.” What else would you do with yourself, for the rest of your life, that would wake you up in the morning with a reason to get out of bed before the sun rises (like an audition can, because if you arrive too late you may not be seen)? And where will that BFA in musical theater get you now?

So you take that with you until it becomes too much to bear. Until you stop going to the auditions and stop updating your website and stop sending out your quarterly mailings and until you….stop. And finally tell your reflection in the mirror, after taking a deep breath: “I’m done.” You might pause for a bit and add, “For now.” Or not. And then you tell others, all the while thinking of what your mother told you years ago when getting a gig was especially hard, “You don’t have to do this. Nobody will be disappointed in you.”

With all your resolve and all of your hope, you enroll in a career change workshop and will Your Perfect Career to fall from the sky and bonk you on the head. And while that doesn’t happen in a literal sense, it does in a figurative one, and the clouds part and the birds sing and you stop grieving for just a moment.

For me, that choir sang “Life Coach.” For you, it might sing, “Voice Teacher” or “Real Estate Agent” or “Bar Owner.” And you’ll keep a little bit of your life still open for your passion - your performing, or your drawing, or your writing - but this time you’ll do it on your own terms, solely for the love of it. Not for the reviews, or the connections the Director has, or to give a postcard to the agents you meet. You do it purely because you want to, because it makes you happy.

I wish I could help make all of you happy, and give you the life you want and deserve on your own terms. A life that’s OK to have, even if it’s not the life you thought you’d lead. Everyone deserves that chance.

Happy 1 month anniversary to Freakin’ (Great Links) Friday! I know it’s not much, but as a newlywed who is still celebrating monthly anniversaries it seems like a lot!

Here’s the stuff I loved this week (& last, as two of these links got left out of installment 3):

• The Perfectionism Monster plagues many of the creative types I know. But did you ever think it could plague someone like Michelangelo? Mark McGuiness explores this topic - while providing really interesting background on this genius - in Lateral Action’s Why You Don’t Need to Be a Genius to Achieve Creative Success. Alternate: Words post It Doesn’t Have To Be Perfect works hand-in-hand under this umbrella (-ella, -ella, hey, hey, hey).
• I might steal this question for a Tough (Question) Tuesday, but if you read More in You’s What Would You Regret? please forget that you saw it. I just loved what Laura wrote around it I had to include the post in it’s entirety.
• Christy at Shine Your Light is a coach that created the ABCs of Achieving Your Dreams. So elementary but so smart and inspiring!
• Mark McGuiness of Lateral Action does it again by coming up with The 3 Critical Characteristics of the Creative Entrepreneur. I honestly belive that creative types are well suited for becoming successful entrepreneurs, & for those of you out there looking for a new direction don’t be surprised if you end up working for yourself!
• Freelance Switch was extremely vulnerable and brave this week with her post, Friends with Structure. With my mini-breakdown last week I can relate to the feeling of overwhelm she describes, especially with such “simple things to do.” It’s tough to own up to the fact that “simple things” might end up being “simply impossible things” for you.
• Woody Allen said it best when he said “80% of success is about showing up.” The Creativity Coach expands on that in his post, A Simple Formula for Creative Success.
• And last but not least, some shameless self-promotion: Luke wrote a beautiful post about me being a kick-ass actress in Ah, My Wife, which makes me happy because I thought he just told me I was good in that showcase to get into my pants. And over at CastleBride Couture, my veil designer featured Luke & I (& my veil!) in photos here (& please note that the link is called Meet-Beautiful-Michelle-Solomon. That’s my favorite part).

Have wonderful weekends everyone! I’ll be back here on Sunday baring my heart. Seriously, it’ll be juicy. Not my heart specifically, but - you know what I mean.

The long & short of my mini-life-crisis last week was that I was bogged down, overwhelmed, and couldn’t see where to go. I’ll write a longer post about this over the weekend, but wanted to share with you a big culprit of my frazzled brain and lack of time:

Blogs.

I know, I know, you’re thinking: “Blogs? That’s it? That’s what made you crazy? Seems a bit….anti-climatic.” I know you used the word “anti-climatic” instead of saying a much meaner word, and I appreciate that.

But yes, I admit it : I was blog-crazy. I thought they were the answer in showing me how to build my business, and find potential clients, and see what interests me on a personal level. I found dozens of blogs that did one of those three things, and some that held me captive on multiple levels. I thought I was handling all the posts well when I broke the blogs down into categories (thanks delicious!) and read each category on a weekly basis. Well, that backfired when there were more than 3 blogs in 1 category and I committed myself to reading 3-4 categories a day! Turns out I didn’t learn - or even enjoy - anything! I just rushed through each post because I had to get to the next one. No good.

So, I have now created the only 2 categories that matter: BlogDaily and BlogWeekly. I only allowed myself 5 blogs in the Daily column and 10 in the Weekly column. The rest of the blogs can either go eff themselves or can be brought up when I’ve devoted time to learning whatever that particular blog is about (ie Twitter tips, growing a blog readership, balancing a budget, etc).

I’ve decided to share the links I included in these 2 categories as it may help you pare down your reading material. If not, this is totally an egocentric post but too bad.

BlogWeekly (in no particular order):

Lateral Action: Creativity + Production = Success

PostSecret: An ongoing community mail art project in which people mail their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard

A Leap Across a Chasm: The creativity articles blog of Creativity Coach Dan Goodwin

New Resolution: 2 and a 1/2 months to new-years-resolution resolutions. I featured them in the first installment of Motivation Monday

Overwhelming Success for Solopreneurs: Tools, tips & resources for the Booming Solopreneur. While I’m not a Baby Boomer, Joanne Hunold was my first coach & I aspire to be more like her every day. Her posts can usually be applied to everyone

decor8: Fresh finds for hip spaces

The Wish Jar: Explorations of the familiar by Keri Smith. I’ve featured her in When I Grow Up: The Blog here.

From the desk of Luke Ward: Not only if he smart and funny and writes for a living, but he’s married to me. If he posted more often this would get moved into the Daily column (hint, hint babe).

Seth’s Blog: The blog of Seth Godin, Marketing Super-Genius.

BlogDaily (in no particular order):

Starshyne Productions: A creative satellite of Jamie Ridler Studios

Backstage: Unscripted: 5 actors blog about the trials & tribulation of making it in the business of show.

The Bloggess: Like Mother Teresa, only better. And hilariouser.

Kelly Rae: Taking Flight into Art, Love & Life. I talk about Kelly all the time - you can find all my posts with her in ‘em here.

Small Notebook: Notes and encouragement for a simple and peaceful home. I’ve included Small Notebook in these posts.

Life Remix: A band of bloggers who enrich people’s lives through blogging.

OK, so BlogDaily has gone 1 over my cap of 5 blogs, but I figure it won’t kill me. If it does, I’ll remove one - I swear.

Are blogs taking over your life? How do you put a cap on them? Is there an activity that you should pare down? Let me know by posting a comment!

This is supposed to be a quizzical swan. But don’t swans just always look like that? How do you know when they’re not quizzical?

OK, I admit it: I totally stole this question from Carrie and Danielle. But how could I not? It was short, concise, and made me think. It was a perfect Tough (Question) for Tuesday!

“What are you putting off that would contribute significantly to your well being?”

This is not hypothetical, people. Make a commitment and write your answer in the comments section!*

To see the other installments of Tough (Question) Tuesday go here.

* I’ll start! Click here to see my comment and make one of your own.

“If you focus on shit - you forget to Shine”, one of the Clouds & Quotes cards designed by Spagat. Found via Design is Mine.

The other Motivation Monday installments can be found here.