I Quit My Day Job! Are You Next?
I Can Dream With My Eyes Open by wordboner, found via design is mine
March 4, 2010 was a day that changed my life. It was the day that I released the chains, untied the rock from around my ankle & flew the coop. Yes, that’s dramatic. No, things weren’t “that bad.” But on that day, while I was heading to the meeting that would change my life, I had to stop myself from leaping & twirling across Park Avenue, belting out show tunes (”Everything’s Coming Up Roses”, specifically) & kissing babies & doing bell kicks.
March 4, 2010 was the day that I quit my day job. The day I excused myself from an environment that, while not torturous (no, not this time around), was the opposite of what I encouraged my clients find: an environment that focuses on the strengths they love utilizing, an environment full of support & encouragement where they can create days full of passion & opportunity to thrive & grow & learn & love. Yes, it’s idealistic & yes, I know it’s almost impossible to find but yes – it is still unacceptable for me (for me!) to have so very little of that in the place that demanded 55 hours a week of my precious time. Yes, my present Corporate America job had “stability”, & a nice salary, & nobody to bully me to tears or punch walls in my presence when a deal went sour (yes, both of those things happened multiple times in my past jobs). For most, it would have been Enough. For me, it wasn’t even close.
So how did I get from that realization to that freedom? From that darkness to this light? From that frozen tundra to this tropical paradise? From that pile of poop to this mountain of magnificence? I want to say: “Easy” – but it was anything but. I want to say: “Simple” – but it was anything but. Here’s why:
- It took me almost 3 years to get from Point A to Point B. Here’s the super simplistic thought process that started roughly in the spring of 2007 & brings us to the present day: “I’ve faced the fact that I’m not going to pursue acting as a career anymore” -> “This customer service job sucks – I don’t care if I get benefits & a ‘good’ paycheck” -> “I refuse to make a living not doing something I love. Let’s go find out what that would be.” -> “This life coaching stuff is pretty awesome. Let me find job where my manager won’t make me cry on a daily basis so I can make some money, get certified as a life coach, & build my business.” -> “I graduated with my life coaching certificate! Let’s put the pedal to the medal now that I don’t hafta be in class when I’m not at work.” -> “Hey, I got some money saved & people keep signing up for consultation calls. Let’s wait for my bonus check & make this happen!” Whew! Are you exhausted or is it just me? This did not happen overnight, people. If you expect it to, you’ll probably be setting yourself up for some disappointment & frustration. Wouldn’t happiness & ponies be so much better?
- I casted the biggest, widest, strongest safety net I could find & laid it directly under my feet. When I committed to being a life coach & launching my own business (which scared the crapballs outta me), I could have jumped in to my classes while scrambling to find clients, get the word out, & make ends meet. I didn’t give that idea more than 30 seconds in my brain before I knew that it would leave me running into the arms of whatever “stable” job would have me, & I knew the end of that movie would be a tight shot of me running out of the subway to dry heave into a trash can on the platform – again. For me, I knew I needed a job that would meet my needs financially, didn’t come home with me (no company-issued BlackBerry!), & didn’t bring me to tears or drag me out of bed in the morning kicking & screaming. When I found my current Executive Assistant job in the summer of 2007, I knew going into it why I was there & what it could offer me. And while I didn’t say then, “I’m going to resign as soon as I get my bonus check in 2010″, I had the end goal in sight the entire time.
- I prioritized my commitments. Pre-coaching, my commitments might have been my day job, rehearsals for a show I was doing, & multiple social engagements (a grown-up way of saying “happy hours”) a week. One of the scariest, grown-up things I had to do was learn to say, “No” & really, truly pick one thing over another. My friends wanted to go out on the night I scheduled to write my website copy? Can’t do it. A show was auditioning that would require 15 hours of rehearsal a week? Sorry. I did learn, however, to keep room on my schedule for Me Time & social engagements & one-off shows – just not as regularly as my pre-grown-up, 26 year old self might have. The old me would go everywhere & do everything & burn herself out in the process. The 2007 me was forced to figure out the balance, stick to her guns, & not always do what she wanted to do, but do what she knew she needed to do to keep the wheels in motion.
- I structured the growing of my business around the time & resources that I had. Going in to this, I knew I had nights, weekends, & lunch hours to make this work. When I was focused mostly on school with the business secondary, I scheduled classes into my calendar a month at a time & ensured that I had time for the things that went along with it (my school-focused blog, my research paper, my coaching model, my clients). When I was able to do more business-building stuff, I realized what I did have was a lot of time in front of a computer, & what I didn’t have a lot of was time & money. So, I focused on my blog, and then social media, & then my newsletter. While I would love to coach in-person, & I’m itching to make use of all of the creatives who are out there in NYC just waiting to meet me (that’s my perspective & I’m sticking to it!), I couldn’t make it happen while staying at my day job. This gave me extra incentive to leave, but it also made it “easy” for me to see where to concentrate my efforts.
- I made sure to have fun & really, really like (if not love) what I was doing. If I didn’t love blogging, or writing my newsletter, or taping videos for Spring, I wouldn’t have kept on doing it. By not making anything a chore, I never had to drag my feet. Even though there were a bunch of things that I thought I “should” be doing, I knew that only focusing on the stuff I loved doing was the way to go.
- I asked for help. If I didn’t ask for help along the way, I’d be sobbing on the floor in the fetal position instead of writing this article. Without my graphic designer, my web designer, my VA, my web builder/updater (aka my husband), the friends & family & clients & tweeples who spread the word of my awesomeness far & wide….I would not be here, so close to freedom. It would not have happened yet. Case closed. Party over.
- I celebrated along the way. A party to celebrate my coaching graduation. A party to celebrate my Freedom from Corporate America. As you can tell, I like parties, & I liked having the excuse to throw ‘em. Along the way, I kept it up with bubble baths & massages & my favorite flowers. Big or small, I kept patting myself on the back & giving myself a gold star. It made everything that much sweeter & kept me keep on keepin’ on.
- When I had to leap, I leapt. You might have heard me say that I’m a firm believer in not taking a leap without a net, but planting the net firmly beneath you & taking baby steps, having it being pulled out little by little, until you’re standing on your own. And while I practiced what I preached, I woke up on March 4th, took a deep breath, & said, “OK Michelle – time to jump.” I wondered if I was really going to quit, if it was the “right time”, if I was “ready.” That, too, was something that was in my head for 30 seconds until I laughed & said, “Are you kidding me, lady? Let’s blow this gin joint!” I pushed myself out of the nest, & I – a risk-averse scaredy cat who has never been on an upside-down roller coaster – enjoyed the entire trip down to the ground, where my net (my current clients, my nest egg that would give me about 6 months severance without working at all, the continuous inquiries I’ve been getting about When I Grow Up) was safely waiting.
March 4th, 2010 was the day I quit the job that didn’t utilize my strengths, that didn’t allow me to shine, that stifled me. March 4th, 2010 was the day I walked towards a career that empowers me, that enables me to not need a cup of coffee at 3p so I don’t fall asleep at my desk, that makes me feel like this is a proud part of who I am & where I need to be.
Are you next?
The article was written for my March newsletter, & therefore all my newsletter subscribers are a month earlier to quitting their day job than you are. Harsh, but true. Sign up here & make sure you don’t get taunted ever again.
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April 8th, 2010 at 9:43 am
Thanks for sharing this process. I love how you excited you are; it’s very encouraging. I feel like you’re always saying to us, “See! If I can do it, so can you!!” And I think that’s what everyone needs in order to start taking those steps.
April 8th, 2010 at 11:25 am
Thanks so much for sharing this, Michelle! I’ve only been at my new job for nine weeks and already I’ve been brought to tears twice. And have worked too many 12-hour days. Reading this reminded me that it’s okay to walk away from a job situation that is demoralizing, but that it takes courage. So I’m looking for another job – contract or part-time – that will help me get out of it so that I once again have the time and the emotional space to work on building my own business. Go, you!
April 8th, 2010 at 11:28 am
You beat me by 6 days. March 10th was my day. Your safety net is probably a bit more secure than mine, yet sometimes all the signs are there and the consequences of staying are worse than the fear of leaping. I watched your posts leading up to that leap. They became part of my signage.
Congrats on finding freedom and joy.
April 8th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Love this post, Michelle. Thanks for sharing with us the process from Corporate America to entrepreneur. You made it sound so easy, but I know it’s not. I agree with Alisha.
April 8th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
@Alisha – It’s true! It’s true! It’s totally how I feel. Anyone can do it as long as they put their time, thought, hard work, & energy into it. So nope, it’s not “easy” but yup, anyone can do it!
@Jen – Ugh, I am so sympathetic to that it’s ridiculous. And YES, it’s all about taking care of yourself & allowing your day job to support your values/priorities/creative efforts. Once it becomes so draining or so debilitating & only offers you a paycheck, it’s time to put the pedal to the medal & find a more supportive day job elsewhere. I’ll send good thoughts your way!
@Angie – Congrats to you as well! And the safety net only needs to be as secure as you need – it ain’t one size fits all. I’m so thrilled for you, Day Job Chucking buddy!
@Anna – I agree with you & Alisha, too! I’m trying to give full transparency regarding my “leap” to entrepreneurship, the good & the bad. It’s all just so thrilling & exciting at this point that I think that’s what’s coming across. One of the reasons I wrote this article was to disclose the tough steps it took to get here. Thanks for the acknowledgment!
April 8th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
This is so exciting! I feel like I’m you – but about a year behind and with a few different angles of attack. I quit my job before I even had the vaguest idea of what I wanted to do. And only just recently (Tuesday, in fact), did I acknowledge out loud to the world that I wanted to do life coach training. I’m petrified but excited and this blog post of yours has got me all giddy! Thanks for sharing!!
April 9th, 2010 at 7:28 am
Eran, that’s amazing! Yay hooray! If there’s any way I can help, please please please do email me (michelle(at)whenigrowupcoach(dot)com) or feel free to schedule a non-consultation consultation call. I’d be super happy to answer any questions you have. And um, hello, your blog is awesome! I’m so glad you commented so I could find it & subscribe. Your mission statement of “being happy” hits so close to home for me. Isn’t that what everyone wants, & sometimes makes it so much more complicated than it needs to be?
April 9th, 2010 at 9:36 am
Two things you said that were good reminders. “I made sure to have fun & really, really like (if not love) what I was doing.” I forget about this all the time. Too many things are chores and I need to work on this. The second thing is “I celebrated along the way.” I put together the celebrate list and haven’t done anything with it. I need to.
I am selling 3 of my rentals to my X. That’s an interesting experience dealing with all the messages around that. But I’m excited to be dropping 3 of them and lightening my load.
April 9th, 2010 at 10:58 am
Great post! This will be me by August 2011
April 9th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Hi Michelle I came across your blog in my google alerts and I love your energy. I too am a life coach and lie that you set an example of truly being yourself and it coming through in all you do. I have visited every page on your site and am inspired by your example. I do think you should do more video on your blog because you have personality coming out of every pore of your body. I guess that is the former/current performer in you. I living in Los Angeles (the other acting mecca) and am also an actress. Just wanted to say HI….and commend you on representing yourself so well and that your authenticity is coming shining through!
Congrats on leaving the jail of the 9 to 5 (legalized slavery) is what I called it and much continued success to you as you take your biz to the next level!
April 12th, 2010 at 8:24 am
@Christina – Sometimes you can’t break free from the chores (it’s tough being a grown-up with responsibilities, right?), but I think there is a way to make them more fun. Is there something you can do to make them stop feeling like “chores” – maybe start by giving them a new name! And YAY for selling the rentals! I know that’ll be a huge weight off of your shoulders. Hurray!
@Abbie – Can’t wait to read your post in just 4 short months!
@Bryn – Wow, thank you so much for all of your kind words & kudos. This is one of the big reasons I love being a blogger – to find & connect with people like you! Please don’t be a stranger, Bryn, & let me know if I can help you along the way, as one life coach/actress to another!
April 19th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I related to so many aspects of this post. I used to market touring Broadway shows. I quit that miserable job in 2003, and next month I will defend my dissertation and get my PhD. (Ironically, my old boss left his PhD program to start his own production company for touring Broadway shows…). My husband works with people looking to start their own business (writing business plans, helping them procure loans) and it is shocking how many people just leap. They want a change, and that change must happen now. Now. And they end up confused, resentful, unhappy… because you can’t just stop being a receptionist and magically have a stationery boutique.
As I mentor many master’s degree students, I see this as well. So many of them decided they needed a change, and with little prep work, they quit their jobs and enrolled in school. I have a friend who worked at admissions for a grad school – it is a business. If you want to get an advanced degree, there are no shortage of places that will take your money. The matriculation rate of professional psychology schools are a great illustration of leaping without prep work. People wake-up half-way through grad school and realize they are miserable yet again.
But although I’m incredibly happy with the net I built and then leapt into – I was naive to think it was going to be the last net. Because now it is time for me to have children and I need to figure out how to create a fulfilling life that includes all of my current roles (professional, wife, sister, friend) with the additional role of being a mother. We are not pregnant yet – we hope to not give birth until September 2011 – but together my husband and I are building a net NOW so that when we leap into parenthood, we can hopefully have fulfilling careers along with a fulfilling home life.
April 19th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Erin, thanks so very much for your honesty & transparency! We seem to be walking similar paths, & I love hearing another person acknowledge the usually long, usually hard, usually winding road to actually make something happen. I had a consultation call the other day from a physician who’s still in school who wants to be an actor – or see how acting can fit into her life – & she was on board to work together until she heard that my clients have to commit to working with me for 12 sessions (with a very easy out clause, because forcing someone to be coached isn’t good for anyone). I never heard from her again. And all I can do is sigh & wish her well, hoping she doesn’t waste too much time/money/energy on having someone else promise her “The Answer” or “instant results” that will most likely lead to her running in circles. I wish that small baby steps & working towards your new future every day – &, um, finding out with certainty what it is you want in the first place! – was a common knowledge solution. Whadda different world it would be!
April 20th, 2010 at 8:51 am
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August 3rd, 2010 at 4:30 pm
Wow.. you have totally inspired me!!! Thank You!! If it’s okay – maybe I can sign up for a 30 minute consult – hey they say that even coaches need a coach! I’d love your help to inspire me stay on track… and stay focused at this job that I feel antsy in.. wishing I was already where my vision is…
Thank You!!!! Wow… Thanks.
Kerilyn
August 7th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Maybe….just maybe….august 20, 2010. You have certainly inspired me.
August 11th, 2010 at 9:32 am
@kerilyn – Of course, of course! That’s what the consult is there for. And I’ve been working with life coaches on and off for 3 years or so! It’s absolutely necessary & such a great way to keep your head from unexploding
@Lynda – (Gasp) That’s right around the corner! Keep me posted! Eek! Excitement! Exclamation point!