Tough (Question) Tuesday: What aren’t you being nice to yourself about, & how you gonna start?
Be Nice To Yourself by laurageorge
What with the bath I finally allowed myself last week, I realized that the person that’s meanest to myself is me. Not counting some Mean Girls at work. They suck big time. If I was as mean as them I’d have no friends. But I’m not counting them because they are so not my friends. OK, let’s rephrase: out of all of my friends, I’m the meanest to myself. So not cool of me. Do you feel the same? Like you’re your own worst enemy? Like if someone said to you what you think to yourself, you’d classify them as “a mentally ill asshole“, but since you say it to yourself it’s not only OK but valid?
Well, let’s take that Mentally Ill Asshole Vampire that lives in your head (is it comforting to know that we all have one in our own heads?) & kick him in the shins.
What aren’t you being nice to yourself about, & how you gonna start?
You know how this works by now. Meet you in the comments section!
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February 9th, 2010 at 10:14 am
This is a tricky one, because my own self-perception is often so different from how other people perceive me. It’s hard to know who’s “right.”
Like when I roll into work with messy hair, crazy crumpled clothes, big sunglasses (cuz I forgot my eyedrops!) and no makeup (cuz I ran out of time!), and I’m thinking “I look like a hobo disaster!” but all my coworkers say “wow, you look like a rockstar!” Which is a nice way of saying “hobo disaster,” but more artsy, I think.
Anyway. Long story short: I have a Mentally-Ill Asshole Vampire in my head, but I think he’s kinda bipolar, because sometimes he doles out outrageous (and totally undeserved) compliments, too. And for some reason he’s a “he.” But that’s probably a whole ‘nother issue.
February 9th, 2010 at 11:35 am
I couldn’t list it all if I tried. I’m very hard on myself. The biggest offender is my to-do list. I’m so mean to myself about all of the things I “should” be doing, or “should have” already finished.
I need to give myself permission to breathe, slow down, enjoy the process and take one thing at a time.
February 9th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
I read somewhere recently that you should look at yourself from your friend’s perspectives to figure out why they like hanging out with you {perhaps you wrote that?}, and I think that is such good advice.
I am definitely my biggest critic, but I think I need a new job: President of the We Love Fanny Fan Club! Shall I have buttons made?
February 9th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Sorry I was so late to join the party! Just one of those days – oy vey!
As for me, I’m super mean in allowing myself to take my Me Time. Why is it so tough to practice what I preach? When I’m a full-time coach I want to have Me Time every day – not just once a week – so I think I’ll start by giving myself just 15 minutes of it every day. And I’ll start by saying, “Everything will still be here in 15 minutes. This time is a gift to you.” Aw, that’s nice!
@Unicorns – I love that your hobo disaster is someone else’s rockstar. That’s what makes the world go ’round! But I didn’t hear how you’re gonna address your Mentally-Ill Bipolar Asshole Vampire. How you gonna make him stop?
@Carmen – Me too, me too! Any way to think of a mantra that you can say to yourself when you’re moving at too quickly a pace?
@Tiffany – I think I wrote that in my last newsletter! I love being quoted back to myself
And I’ll take a button, please.
February 9th, 2010 at 7:53 pm
The other day a intoxicated elderly man gave me a compliment. He was nicer to me than I am to me. I need to constantly tell myself people like me, I am not hideous, or stupid, or wasting my life. OY VEY! it is not easy to live inside our heads.
February 12th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
@Allysa – Isn’t it amazing when a boozy old guy is nicer to you than you are to yourself? Not to get all Stewart Smalley on you, but maybe it’s worthwhile to come up with a mantra for you to say to yourself when you find you’re being a bully to you. You can start with “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, & gosh darn it, people like me!”