Tough (Question) Tuesday: What “should” do you want to let go of?
Flying Girl Cuts It Away or Let Go of All That is Not Yours by Rowena Murillo (of the fab blog Warrior Girl)
I won’t lie -I’m feeling a bit of Overwhelm lately. There’s a lotta stuff on my plate – a lot of it things I want to do, which makes it tough to prioritize – and I’m starting to get a case of the Shoulds. Do you feel the same?
Then join me in asking yourself this:
What “should” do you want to let go of?
I’ll join you in the comments with my answer to this question, which may surprise you. It surprised me, once I realized it.
Suspense!
Related posts:
- Tough (Question) Tuesday: What would you do if you weren’t scared?
- Tough (Question) Tuesday: What’s the risk you’re going to take?
- Tough (Question) Tuesday: What’s your role in the world?
Tags: Awesome Authenticity, Potent Productivity, Voracious Vampire Slaying
January 19th, 2010 at 10:14 am
I’ve had so many “shoulds” pop up this weekend, & that’s the dirtiest word in the dictionary to me! The one I need to really let go of, though, is feeling that I “should” update this blog 4+ times/week. I have this fear that if I only post two or three times/wk (it’ll never be less than that – that’s no fun!) I’ll magically lose my audience & nobody would come to visit me at my home on the Interwebs. I know how untrue this is, though, because some of my favorite bloggers only post a handful of times a month, & I’m always there when I see something new from them pop up on my Reader!
January 19th, 2010 at 10:20 am
This came at a perfect time for me, I’ve got a massive case of the Shoulds. The one that I decided to let go of the past couple weeks is “I should be at the gym”. It was getting to be such a hassle beating myself up about working out 5-6 days a week! Once I let it go, I found that I went when I actually WANTED to work out – two or three days a week since the new year, and I’m finding more time to do other things, like reading “A Return to Love” and painting my room. I’m sure I’ll get back up to going 5 or 6 days since I really enjoy it, but for now, its a nice break to get my thoughts organized for 2010.
Love the blog btw!!
January 19th, 2010 at 10:24 am
Yay for kicking that Gym Should to the curb! And seriously, still going 2-3 days/wk is super awesome. I hear that “A Return to Love” is super awesome, too – it’s on my short list. Thanks for the comment & the compliment, Beth! So happy to have you here.
January 19th, 2010 at 10:29 am
Funny that you mention it, Michelle, because I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately, too! I think this comes with the territory of wanting to accomplish great things. I know, for me, that the momentum, excitement and inspiration of the new year slowly began to give way to the realities of the day. When reality sets in and you see the tasks and challenges in front of you, it can be overwhelming. And I think this is where many people become discouraged and give up. But I know that you (and all of your readers
) are awesome & will blaze through the challenges full steam!
One “should” that I need to let go of right now is trying to live up to others expectations. I need to trust myself because I am the person who knows what path is best for me.
Finally…I know that your blog posts (no matter how frequent or infrequent) are a really valuable and authentic contribution–people will keep coming back no matter what. And the more you love what you’re doing, the better your work is going to be–even if you do it less frequently!
January 19th, 2010 at 10:59 am
Think it just comes with the New Years territory, Krista? Maybe our intentions/resolutions are getting the best of us! And yes, it’s coming too from wanting to do Great Things/Do It All! And I love that you already know what’s best for you – it’s all about not letting the “should”s of others get in your way. The only “should” you “should” answer to is your own!
And thanks for the vote of confidence with the blog postings. It’s not like I’m going to pull a disappearing act or anything – I just need the breathing room while I’m in my day job/coaching pull!
January 19th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
No matter how many times you blog per week or month, I’ll always be here to read! I think blogging and writing should be fun and not feel like a chore… and it shouldn’t get in the way of living and loving.
The “should” I need to let go of is trying to juggle everything in equal balance everyday. I need to realize I can’t balance my diet everyday – eating junk is sometimes necessary! I shouldn’t feel so guilty. I can’t balance all of my time either. I need to remember to live in the moment and let things happen every now and then and not live by my lists constantly.
January 19th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Aw, thanks Nicole! And I totally agree – once blogging feels like a chore, that’s when I “should” stop for the day!
I love the “should” that you’re getting rid of. Makes me think of Weight Watchers, where you have a certain amount of Points & can use them at your discretion (so you can eat salad for lunch all week & have a glass of wine every night for dinner!), & you also have bonus Weekly points to blow -I mean, uh, use – whenever you want. Such a great system, & exactly what you’re talking about here.
I, too, have difficulty being easy-breezy sometimes (especially when it comes to my coaching biz!) & Living By the Lists makes it tough for me to enjoy the journey instead of rushing to the destination. I’ve found that when I put less on my plate for each day, & give myself enough leeway to go at a less-than-breakneck pace, I really get to seize each day. It’s made it so much sweeter (when I remember to do it!)
January 19th, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Yeah, this is totally perfect timing for me too! I have a lot of “shoulds” right now. Two big ones come to mind: 1) I “should” be writing more and I “should” have produced more writing and be on my way to making this my career than I am now. As a result I beat myself up if on the one night I have off from performing/rehearsing/writing with my sketch partner/watching others’ shows I just want to get a piece of pizza and sit on the couch all night. I’m trying to find the right balance and listen to myself more often…if I want to sit and watch mindless TV, that’s ok! Chances are if I push myself to write when I am that exhausted it won’t be a positive experience anyway. And rest is important and TV is awesome.
2) I “should” be doing x/y/z for my wedding. People around us (co-workers and acquaintances, but also some family members) have been putting a lot of pressure on my fiance and I to do all kinds of things for our wedding…most of which we don’t have any interest in doing. Four months into what will be an 11 month engagement, I am finally learning how to assert myself and get the wedding that I know I (and we!) want. It is hard to trust yourself in the midst of everyone telling you what you “have” to do for your wedding and it’s easy to get sucked in….but it gets easier!
January 20th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Isn’t it nuts when you beat yourself up for a tiny little itty bitty bit of downtime you give yourself? I do that too, all the time! By now I make it mandatory and call it “Me Time”, because I know that I need it to charge my batteries and to be of use to anyone else. Think of yourself like a car – without any gas, how can you go anywhere? Me Time needs to be allowed & sacred. It helps me to schedule it into my calendar, both in actually doing it & in making me feel not/less guilty about it. Um, there are 10080 minutes in a week – what kind of harm can 90 minutes do? And yes, TV is awesome!
Ugh, and weddings can be so ridiculous – doesn’t everyone want to tell you how to do things? You need to pat yourself on the back though, for discovering how to assert yourself as early as you did. You seem to know what you two want to create a super happy, super “you” day – now you get 7 months of telling others to shove it when they shove their ideas down your throat!
January 20th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
I try to stay away from “the shoulds”, though they rear their ugly heads on occasion. Sometimes when I feel “the shoulds” coming on, I like to look through my old “to do” lists and see all that I’ve done and accomplished. makes me feel better. Great post.
January 21st, 2010 at 10:53 am
Awesome tip, Katie! I do something similar, & try to connect to the piece of me that listens to me (as opposed to the one that tells me I know nothing about nothing/others know what’s best for me). It’s tough, but it helps me find my way.