Thank you so much for your post, and I’m *so* glad the questions I posted helped to break up some of your internal gridlock.

Something else that *really* helps and that you just reminded me of is to really listen to your heart and gut and the answers to those questions and just look for “the next right step.” That can take LOTS of the pressure off of finding “IT”…THE thing you’re meant to do/be when you grow up.

For me, the first next right step was to ask to be taken off the corporate ladder. The next right step after that was to reduce my hours by 10/week and go back to school. The next right step after that was to quit and start contracting. The next right step after that was to break up with my boyfriend of five+ years and get my own living space. The next right step after that was to buy a bike and get back outside. And on and on, ultimately leading to the much more fulfilling life I have today. And guess what I’m always on the lookout for now? Yup–you guessed it! My next right step.

I wish you so much fulfillment and clarity on your journey, Colleen. Thanks again for your note!

Laura – I have been struggling with the big “what do I want to be when I grow up” question lately (I say that knowing I am already a grown up, but hoping there is more out there for me). The questions you posed at the end of the post and the idea to look at what I do know really helped me look at things from a different angle. It was freeing in a way – to look at what I do know from a positive perspective instead of focusing in on what I don’t know (or what I do know that is negative) and feeling I needed to have an answer to the big question in order to have meaning or be able to move forward. I was inspired to sit down last night and answer the questions and was surprised at how “easy” it was to do so. I may not have that big answer as a result, but I really do have a wonderful, positive list to inspire myself with as I continue with my journey. Thank you.

I’m so excited for you to try on this perspective shift! They say that “you get what you look at,” and per that, if you’re always looking at what you don’t want, you might just be generating more of that stuff! SO, this could be a very powerful step for you to take, and I’ll bet once you gain some clarity on what you DO want (and know!), you’ll start seeing that stuff everywhere, “coincidences” will start to happen around it, and you’ll find yourself feeling much more in a place of FLOW and, like you said, forward movement.

AND, it is also a really important thing to know what you don’t want, but not to get stuck there, and to trust that if you take each of those “here’s what I don’t want” items and flip it over, there’s a “what I DO want” waiting on the other side of it. (E.g., I didn’t want to be beholden to someone else’s idea of what my days should look like. What that meant I DID want and DID know was that freedom, flexibility and variety were very important to what I was creating next in my life.)

Hope that helps! Rock on!!!

Having left my desk job a few months ago and feeling slightly stalled, I keep focusing on what I *don’t* want to do rather than what I do want. This is a fantastic exercise, and one that seems potentially very powerful, to help me and others in my position get back to the positive and start actually moving forward.

Laura, your story is an inspiration. Thank you for sharing it!

Lee, I just read your follow-up blog post and am bouncing in my seat with eagerness to write you back, which I’ll do on your blog itself. Thank you for your comment, and you’re very welcome for the kick in the pants!

Don’t you guys just love Michelle and what she’s creating here? So glad we could meet on this very fertile ground together. Thanks, Michelle!

Hi Laura,
This is really a very touching story. Especially how death played a role in taking you to where you are today. Maybe that’s the thing about dying, when we really recognize it – is that there is some finality to our time here on earth in the form we exist in today. And how do we want to spend those moments we have, moments we never know for sure how long they will last? “Focus” is something I’ve been thinking more about recently – and your questions complement the thoughts I have floating around in my head (and in my heart)….