Comments on: Accentuate The…Negative? (Part 1) http://whenigrowupcoach.com/blog/2009/10/22/accentuate-the-negative-part-1/ Who do YOU want to be when you grow up? Fri, 10 Sep 2010 19:28:19 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Michelle http://whenigrowupcoach.com/blog/2009/10/22/accentuate-the-negative-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-4511 Michelle Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:52:13 +0000 http://whenigrowupcoach.com/blog/?p=2223#comment-4511 Thanks for these comments, Joanne & Eduard! Joanne - I put the Compliments Journal as a tip for Part 2 of this post, up today! I have a feeling that I got it from our coaching sessions together way back when. And great minds continue to think alike - unsubscribes from my newsletter continue to bum me out, but recently I've been thinking of it as a positive. "Good! Someone unsubscribed! That was someone who wasn't part of my tribe & if we have nothing to offer each other, then there's no need to communicate". If you focus on quality & not quantity (which I've been starting to do) it really turns things around. Eduard - Perfectionism is fairly evil, although it's pretty darn motivational. I agree that most of the people who accentuate the negative are perfectionists, & letting go of being perfect (& embracing being authentic) is a great way to turn it around. Thanks for these comments, Joanne & Eduard!

Joanne – I put the Compliments Journal as a tip for Part 2 of this post, up today! I have a feeling that I got it from our coaching sessions together way back when. And great minds continue to think alike – unsubscribes from my newsletter continue to bum me out, but recently I’ve been thinking of it as a positive. “Good! Someone unsubscribed! That was someone who wasn’t part of my tribe & if we have nothing to offer each other, then there’s no need to communicate”. If you focus on quality & not quantity (which I’ve been starting to do) it really turns things around.

Eduard – Perfectionism is fairly evil, although it’s pretty darn motivational. I agree that most of the people who accentuate the negative are perfectionists, & letting go of being perfect (& embracing being authentic) is a great way to turn it around.

]]> By: Ideas With A Kick http://whenigrowupcoach.com/blog/2009/10/22/accentuate-the-negative-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-4505 Ideas With A Kick Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:52:12 +0000 http://whenigrowupcoach.com/blog/?p=2223#comment-4505 Interesting post. Personally, I blame this phenomenon you're talking about on perfectionism. If you tell yourself that you have to be perfect, then any quality you or your work has it's just something normal, but any fault is a real tragedy. With this kind of thinking, the negative stick like glue! Eduard Interesting post.

Personally, I blame this phenomenon you’re talking about on perfectionism. If you tell yourself that you have to be perfect, then any quality you or your work has it’s just something normal, but any fault is a real tragedy. With this kind of thinking, the negative stick like glue!

Eduard

]]> By: Joanne Hunold http://whenigrowupcoach.com/blog/2009/10/22/accentuate-the-negative-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-4503 Joanne Hunold Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:52:05 +0000 http://whenigrowupcoach.com/blog/?p=2223#comment-4503 Hey Michelle, I think you've got a good handle on some of the reasons we focus on the negative (and let me tell you, it's not just creatives; my introvert clients doubt themselves a lot also). Your reasons are very similar to my recent article/post about the hidden benefits of limiting beliefs. Despite being a savvy life coach and all (insert laughter here), I found myself obsessing over a single unsubscribe from my newsletter -- what did I do wrong? Was I boring? Uninformative? Did I offend? Then I suddenly realized that I had many more subscribers who have not unsubscribed! Why was I wasting my energy on one person? For me, I think part of the reason is a habit formed in childhood, when my mistakes were pointed out, but not my successes. The successes were taken for granted. Now, I keep track of my successes and compliments. In moments of self-doubt, I read them to myself. Simple, but it works. Hey Michelle, I think you’ve got a good handle on some of the reasons we focus on the negative (and let me tell you, it’s not just creatives; my introvert clients doubt themselves a lot also). Your reasons are very similar to my recent article/post about the hidden benefits of limiting beliefs. Despite being a savvy life coach and all (insert laughter here), I found myself obsessing over a single unsubscribe from my newsletter — what did I do wrong? Was I boring? Uninformative? Did I offend? Then I suddenly realized that I had many more subscribers who have not unsubscribed! Why was I wasting my energy on one person? For me, I think part of the reason is a habit formed in childhood, when my mistakes were pointed out, but not my successes. The successes were taken for granted. Now, I keep track of my successes and compliments. In moments of self-doubt, I read them to myself. Simple, but it works.

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