Tough (Question) Tuesday: What’s the worst thing that could happen?
You can purchase the Hell Sandwich Card at Moxie for $2.95.
Y’know that thing that you’ve been wanting to do, but have been too fearful to start? What about that thing that you’ve been reaching for, but hasn’t come into grasp yet? Are you wondering what’s stopping you, or when things are gonna “happen”?
Well, why not ask yourself:
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Join me in a negativity fest (yes, on a life coach’s blog) in the comments section.
You can see all of the Tough (Question) Tuesdays here.
Related posts:
February 24th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
My biggest goal right now is to be a successful full-time coach without having to worry about income. What’s the worst that could happen? I could NOT be a successful full-time coach without having to worry about income! I could spend the rest of my life at my day job, and coach on the side (balancing it with all the other priorities in my life). Or I could quit my job before I was ready, not make a full-time income, incur credit card debt/deplete savings, and force myself to get back into a day/desk/part-time job for money. All Worst Things.
So what does painting this Portrait of Terror do for me? Well, it confirms the fact that I should stay at my day job until I feel like I can support myself for at least 6 months coaching full-time. It motivates me to keep on putting in the long hours and make the sacrifices in order to make it happen. It also allows me to prioritize my life – my commitments, my schedule, my energy & time – by keeping what I DON’T want to happen in my line of vision.
I think that I need to become an early riser. Oy.
February 24th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I like this question, because it puts things into perspective for me very well. My goal at this point is to release the death grip on a supposedly secure paycheck to reach for the freedom of being self-employed doing and sharing the things I know and love. I am working toward some things that will allow that to happen easily, however my time frames are not lining up as perfectly as I would like.
If I quit my 8-5 job, reach for the idealistic dream, and flop, what’s the worst thing that will happen? Even in “this economy”, there are always teaching jobs. That’s what I am attempting to escape, but it’s pretty easy to find SOMETHING to do. I could end up in a worse situation than I have right now, but I’m pretty burned out now, so change of almost any kind is probably not a bad thing. I could spend six months blowing through my retirement and having nothing to show for it but a really great garden. I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing. My kids might have to give up a few of their simple pleasures like Happy Hour sodas at the local drive-in and satellite tv (that might be tough on hubby). It is possible I might have to give up my 24/7 high speed internet access and rely on the local community lab. Again, that might not be a bad thing.
Hmm….I like this exercise. Maybe I’m not playing by the rules?
February 24th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Ain’t it interesting to see what comes up when answering this question, Angie? I gave it to a client of mine last week as homework, and he – like others – is initially confused. “A life coach wants me to dwell on the bad stuff?” Well….yeah! The “bad stuff” is an idea-sparker, a commitment-generator, and a butt-kicker!
It seems that we’re in such similar situations, besides the fact that I’m not a teacher. For me, I will only be comfortable walking away from the day job when I have X clients that are bringing in $X and I have $X in the bank (I have no idea what those numbers are yet, but I have it in my To Do List to figure it out). You can also bet on the fact that I’ll have multiple ways to Earn Money Fast at my fingertips, just in case I need a part-time gig to fall back on.
And by the way Angie – YOU make the rules! Ain’t that nice?
February 24th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Michelle,
What a great post! I love tough question Tuesday
. You make one incredible coach. Confronting the worst thing that could happen is a major tool used in cbt. Okay too much research in my head right now!
What am I fearful of doing? I am in constant battle with myself over pursuing different interests. As I really start to become passionate about something, I definitely pull away. I’ve become so mindful of my thoughts and habits that I know how difficult it is for me to stop and slow down when I become too passionate. And my plate is overflowing right now, but what if there is something out there with my name on it? Am I missing out on something big? I’m afraid to find out. Because then I’ll have to reassess what I’m doing and what I’ve worked so hard to do.
So I’m fearful of… when i grow up! What would I be most happy doing when I grow up?
Tough Question Tuesday indeed!
Can we go back to talking about fun office supplies — much easier
.
C
February 24th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Carolyn, you are too too much! Thanks for making me laugh. And yes, we can talk about cute office supplies. Have you ever been to Pylones (http://www.pylones-usa.com/pylones/indexpylones.php)? I got a tape dispenser there that looks like an octopus! I have to name it.
Ok, NOW for the serious stuff! I need to so recommend a book for you called The Renaissance Soul (http://www.amazon.com/Renaissance-Soul-Design-People-Passions/dp/0767920880). The subtitle is Life Design for People with Too Many Passions To Pick Just One. I really related to it (& hope to do a review here on this blog next month) & know that you would too! So along the lines of discovering what you want to do when you grow up, you might want to think of what an ideal day, week, or month would hold for you. What would you do? Where would you go? Who would you spend it with? What, even, would it look like, taste like, smell like, feel like? That might give you some direction as to which passion(s) you want to start looking into first, which are fleeting ideas, and which are OK to put into the “someday/maybe” pile. And don’t forget that you can have more than one passion at a time! In fact, I would endorse it. Yes, it makes life a bit harder but a million times more rewarding.
February 24th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
1- Pylones: NO! I didn’t know about that site! Cutest site ever!!
2- I will definitely check out the Renaissance Soul
3- I’ll get back to you in about 5 years with answers to those questions!!!
February 24th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
1 – It’s in Grand Central Station – unsure where else they have stores. The stuff is crazy expensive, though! Another $20 for a notebook place. But so worth it (usually)!
2 – Let me know what you think!
3 – I’ll be here
February 24th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
A great question to ponder! I have been in the baby step process of achieving my dream of having a small specialty nursery and garden school. Been in the industry for over 20 years, tons of all of the “right” experience in all facets of business, marketing, sales, management etc. I even had my industry related 9-5 job working VERY high end clients through a VERY high end firm.
Then as a victim of the economy and lack of ANY high end clients, I am now at home taking those baby steps every day on my own. Business plan-done, agent, attorney, financial advisers-done, location-found. Now nursery owner who wanted to sell is too scared and I can’t finance by myself in this economy. I was going to refinance the house-with husbands blessing, but now we’ve lost so much value we can’t.
I still teach and create classes via the local Technical College and get tons of clients that way. This is the most fulfilling thing I do right now. I work to have my school up and ready to roll when the time comes.
What’s the worst that could happen? Losing enthusiasm, passion and time for making my dream happen while I’m young enough to put money and energy into it.
Maybe I also just need to get up earlier!
February 24th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Christina, you’re such an inspiration! I love how you realized what you are in control of, and let go of the rest. OK, you didn’t “let go” per se, but you are focusing on what is in your power to do and you’re doing it. I can tell just from this post that you’re an optimist, a go getter, a lemonade maker – and that’s awesome. Regarding the fear of losing the passion and the time….what can you do to offset the losses that are being handed to you? Maybe it’s tangibly celebrating the wins….hmmm…..
Let me know if you decide to really get up early – we can be miserable together!
February 24th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
The worst thing that I can think of right now is to never again have that feeling of completeness and connection when I look at one of my completed paintings. Never to experience that knowing that this was the best I could to do, at this moment, at this time, and that it is prefect and whole and a masterpiece. It is that longing and desire and, yes, fear that keeps the pastels in the box and the pencils from the paper. Because what if I never feel it again? Perhaps is is better to not know than to live in continued disappointment. But I still I long for it and wish for it and desire it. So….. what if……
February 24th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Glad you think I’m inspiring. I worry that I sound too jaded and cynical.
You have a clear gift of insight and use it well. Have glass of really excellent Lemonade on me-well not ON me, it’s STICKY! You know what I mean.
Cheers!
February 26th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
That’s a really interesting question, one many of us ask themselves without realizing it most of the time. Fear can just creep up on you and then manifest itself in various forms and manners like the uncomfortable feeling right before an important decisions. That’s when it becomes inhibiting. It’s imperative to bring these fears to the forefront so they do not paralyze us at the worst possible moment.
There is also the difference between rational and irrational fear. I’ve read all the very intriguing answers of the previous commenters, all dealing with very rational fears, things that have a certain weighted and founded likelihood of happening if condition a, b or c is met. But there are people who go far beyond that, all the way to conditions x, y, z, the things that are so highly unlikely to ever occur that they are almost impossible. Yes, I can be electrocuted leaving the house because of a faulty wire snapping at the right moment hitting the door handle as I exit. The probability of this incident is somewhere around 1:1,000,000. Irrational fear is difficult to cope with and it can effect non-psychotic people as well, e.g. people suffering from prolonged social isolation or sudden manifestations of childhood fears due to trigger effects. Again, pulling such fears consciously to the forefront in a controlled environment will help putting them in perspective.
There is one more fear I can think of. What’s the worst that can happen? Success. Success can happen and catch you by surprise and sweep you off your feet and you feel like your whole world is changing and… off goes that train of thought. I find that I can deal with failure, I just learn my lesson and move on. But success? I’ve been wanting to write a novel (several for that matter) ever since I was 12. It’s not like I never got started. I have plenty of ideas and I’ve written several drafts. But really committing to it? Tricky. What if it does sell, what if I am suddenly in the spotlight, what if people have expectations now for a follow up, what if I had to go on interviews. I am an introvert, those things don’t make me feel particularly warm and fuzzy. In a sense that is “the worst” that could happen (something I wrote about recently).
February 26th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Thorston – Fear of success is a really real thing! It can be very paralyzing, especially for those that don’t crave the spotlight. I was actually tweeting about this yesterday with @pitchengine, after I posted a link to an article about Simplicity Driven Entrepreneurship (http://is.gd/kyXC). What if you DON’T want to be on Oprah? What if you DON’T want to control an empire? I really do think that you can have a goal of have a successful business and a comfortable income and a sense of balance.
What is most important to you – writing a book or being a best-selling author? It might be just enough to enjoy the journey, love the creating, and when you’re done, you publish it yourself and distribute it to your friends and family. Or put it on the shelf for your own perusal. Not everyone has to be Stephen King.
I read advice somewhere that you need to figure out what makes the process enjoyable for you, and do that. If you enjoy making necklaces, and love connecting directly with the people that buy them for themselves – then you shouldn’t be mass producing your necklaces and selling them wholesale. It might not be a way that you earn a full-time living, but it can bring joy and passion into your life just the same.
I have a very close friend that makes gorgeous, stunning, 3D greeting cards (as well as beautiful scrapbooks). Whenever she goes anywhere where someone opens one of her homemade cards, the room “oohs” and “aahs”. Many people have told her she must start selling them – she can get $5/card easily – but she just doesn’t have the interest in marketing them, setting up shop, pressuring herself to deliver a certain quantity, etc. She loves the work itself, and the joy it brings to her friends. I admire her greatly for knowing her limits, her wants, and her passion.
February 26th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Ack! My comment to Celina & Christina got marked as spam! I only have myself to blame. And Mr Cameltoe for forcing me to go nuts on the Mark As Spam button.
Celina – My heart breaks hearing that you’re not painting anymore! I know how much you love it. I feel, though, that your comment was a cry for help…..I picture you at the very end of a cliff, teeting on the edge, with the breakthrough waiting for you at the bottom. You’re so close! Is there one little itty bitty baby step you can do to start the process? Even if it’s opening the box of pastels, and leaving them open on your desk, and walking away……it’s a start! Then you can take another little itty bitty baby step, like putting some paper alongside the pastels, and walking away….
Christina – Don’t worry, you’re safe. I don’t know where you live!
February 26th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
That’s an excellent reply, great points you made. You’re absolutely right, not everyone has to be a best selling writer. And I really understand your friend not wanting to sell her cards (I like the point about figuring out what makes the process enjoyable; passion is very important to me). I subscribe to the idea that often the journey is the reward, all those experiences along the way.
Unfortunately money is often viewed as the ultimate reward. We get paid for our hard work hence it, and therefore we, must be valuable. It’s a wide spread problem of modern society. Creatives can quickly find themselves in a pinch – on one side the need to make an income on the other side the desire to express. So should we turn our desire to express into a business and be rewarded via monitory gain (that “fame and fortune” mantra)? And if so should we seek recognition through fame and fortune? This seems to be the going attitude and compromises much of what people are being taught (particularly in the US where the rags to riches mindset stems from). I don’t subscribe to it though. Finding the right balance is crucial. I think the closest term to describe my ideal circumstance would be “secret success”. Sounds contradictory but I know artists who are very well know within a certain circle, but not beyond, intentionally. They are able to do what they enjoy and sustain themselves while at the same time escaping the clutches of fame and broad recognition. But it does take the right environment.
February 26th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Ain’t life a bitch sometimes? The conundrum you express, Thorston, is exactly what I went through in my struggle/decision to stop pursuing a career as an actress. But because I was used to pounding (my head against) the pavement, and I did it because I loooooved the reward, well then…..it wasn’t enough for me to just get A Job. I needed to find another career to loooooove. I found that with life coaching, and found it even deeper in coaching creatives into finding what that balance is for them. Is it enough to be an actress at your local theater, doing it in your free time for the process and the applause, while working your stable desk job? Or are you willing (and able!) to make the rounds, knock down the doors, deal with the rejection to get to the fame/fortune/livable salary & comfort? Or do you want to create a new path for yourself, with a passionate career you don’t know you want yet and your artistic passion on the side? It’s so, so, so, so tough, because being an artist means that there’s no guarantee. It’s absolutely what you make of it.
February 26th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
“…because being an artist means that there’s no guarantee. It’s absolutely what you make of it.” Couldn’t agree more, totally, utterly, completely. And that’s the hardest part for many creatives because from childhood on we’re taught that we must fit into certain predefined categories, the need for guaranteed success. And success for creatives is guaranteed through what most the time? Fame. And to achieve fame one must follow external trends and desires, e.g. be a best selling author of mass market fiction or a well known actress or performer or platinum selling musician (if we do not want to be put into the ’starving artist’ category). Leads right back to ‘what’s the worst that can happen?” – losing one’s identity if following such path.
February 27th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Are you watching American Idol by any chance, Thorston? I felt like this past week was such a bummer because 80% of the contestants did what they thought the judges & audience would want to see – not what was true to them. There was a flippin’ fantastic piano bar player with an old fashioned (but contemporary) bluesy/jazzy voice that ripped apart “Georgia on my Mind” during Hollywood Week. He was one of my favorites. What did he sing for his big shot in front of American voters, where 75% of the group was gonna get voted off the next day? Coldplay. Coldplay! Why? What would he not sing “At This Moment” or “When a Man Loves a Woman” or even “Georgia on My Mind”? Because he didn’t think it was commercial enough.
Of course, he got voted off.
I talk about being unique a lot (even made up my own word, “uniquity”). If you’re interested, you can read about it at http://is.gd/hoUr & http://is.gd/gB7Z