December 15, 1990 was the day I became a Bat Mitzvah. The good pics are at my Mom’s and aren’t scannable, but here’s an idea:

But really, the most important part of that day – yes, even more than becoming a woman – was that my best friendship with Lisa Carlin was made official. My best friend at the time, Sheri, came over to me with Lisa, who was a good friend at the time, and said, “Me, you and Lisa are all going to be best friends. OK?” I answered happily, “Sure!” I must have known it in advance, though, because Lisa and Sheri were the ones that lit the candle for all my friends (yes, there’s a long-ass candle-lighting ceremony at every Bar/Bat Mitzvah party where you honor people by writing long poems about them & then making them come up to a “theme song” you pick for them & lighting 1 of 13 candles):

No, I’m not her mother – I was just really tall for my age (and about a year older than her, even though we were in the same grade).

A year later, Sheri and I didn’t speak. 20 years later, I’m celebrating my 20th bestfriendiversary with Lisa.

Y’see, Lisa and I are as different as different can be. Before I tell you why, I’m gonna put up some old pictures from way back when to show you why. I have a feeling you’ll get the gist. Please keep in mind that, in all of these pictures, Lisa and I were going to the very same place. Ready? Here they are (and no, you can’t get them any bigger or see what the rest of my prom dress looks like):

Lisa was argyle and khakis (her nickname was “Khaki Carlin”, and we used to joke that she’d open that store “when she grew up”). I was day-glo and bellbottoms, and I mean that literally. Lisa let me share her locker in high school because mine was in nowheresland, and I’d come in my day-glo green shirt with black bellbottoms that zipped up the back, and she’d wear her argyle sweater, khakis, argyle socks and boat shoes. I’d be in all the shows, and Lisa would be in stage crew (my Mom would applaud everytime the curtain opened, because she knew that Lisa was pulling it). In 8th grade, Lisa was obsessed with The Islanders and Days of Our Lives, while I was obsessed with Miss Saigon and Jonathan Brandis. I can’t think of one thing we had in common, ever.

Lisa attended every single boring piano recital I played in. Lisa came to spend my 19th birthday with me when I was on winter break in Florida, my family having moved there a few months prior and me knowing nobody. Lisa was the one who, when I was having a tough time, would send me a card to let me know she was thinking of me. Lisa is the one who’ll get it when I call her my  snot sister, tell her we’re going on tour as Garlic & Oregeno, ask if we’re going to bake the cake with the batter this time, have her search for her diploma from Michelle’s School of Meanness….I’ll stop there. 20 years worth of inside jokes are a lot of jokes.

As we grow older, we have nothing in common but our mutual love for each other. Our friendship has never made any sense, and when I speak about someone in “my tribe”, well, I’m not talking about Lisa at all. If we met any later in life, there might not have been any connection. Logically, it really makes no sense. But, for some reason, when we were placed on the same softball team in 6th grade (and I orginally thought she was a different Lisa, a really mean one, and I cried myself to sleep & told my Mom I wouldn’t play on the team) & Lisa & I were the biggest benchwarmers (despite the fact that our Dads were the coaches), well….it was just the start of something nonsensical and amazeballs – a lifelong friendship.

Now, Lisa’s really the only friend I have from high school. The ones that “made sense”, my theater friends, are people that have grown up and grown apart. But Lisa…well, she’s the sister I never had. Part of the family. My Babe of Honor. See?

All photos by the amazeballs Kate Leigh.

When I was at Carolyn‘s wedding recently, Tiffany looked at Jess & I & exclaimed, “I just love our differences.” And that’s how I feel about Lisa. It doesn’t matter that it doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t matter that we have nothing in common. It doesn’t matter that we still dress differently (although she wore a sparkly shirt to her birthday dinner this year! I’m so proud!); that she has kids and I don’t; that she lives in a house in the ‘burbs and I live in an apartment in the city; that I love being in the spotlight and she prefers the stage crew; that I work for myself and that she doesn’t (but she got a new job that starts next month! I’m so proud of and excited for her!); that she drives everywhere & I haven’t gotten behind the wheel in years.

It doesn’t matter. She’s my sister.

Happy 20th BestFriendiversary, Lisa-nose! I love you.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 15th, 2010 at 1:27 am and is filed under Happy Hooplah. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.