@Jess – Thanks for the clarification, you snarky chick! But I so know what you mean. That's deep trust – knowing you can get out of Armageddon. Hopefully you'll never have to face it, though!

Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that in a snarky sense. I learn to trust myself when shit hits the fan and I'm put on the spot to navigate it gracefully with only my two hands, my heart and my really smart brain.

In the moment, that sucks. But in retrospect, when I know that I can handle even the worst-case scenarios, it's far easier to trust that I've got everything else in hand.

Great question!

I think for me to trust myself, I really need to make sure that I listen to myself – not others, not the vampires. I can't embody or embrace or even accept the fears of others and take them on as my own. If they are worried about what I'm doing or would be worried if they were me, that is fine, I can accept that,but I shouldn't let that make me worried or doubt myself. I'm learning that my gut or my first initial instinct/thought is what I should follow and listen to as it is usually the right choice for me. Sometimes this makes me feel a bit impulsive, but usually it is those times I go against what I feel is right or impulsive, because of fear or the fears of others (or because I overanalyzed – spent too much time thinking), I happily end up right back where I felt initially that I should be… just later on and often after a lot of struggle. The biggest example of this is when I went to College – I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed of going to a certain University, but when time came around and scholarship money didn't just come rolling in for me, my parents were worried about me having student loans etc if I went there – so I went to the school that did give me the scholarship money…… within a month of my first semester at college, I reapplied to the Universiy I always wanted to go to and was set up to attend the very next semester. I didn't feel like I was in the "right" place for me at my second-choice school and while the loans do set me back, I have never once regretted my decision. So for me to trust myself, I have to look back to past examples of when I did or did not initially trust myself and where that led me. That way when I start hearing the doubt within or externally, I will remember that I know what is best for me (if only I'll listen and acknowledge it) and to know that the few times that maybe I don't make the BEST choice and I maybe screw up – well that just makes me who I am and is just a part of the story, not the whole story.

@Dulci – Your English is great – no apology necessary! And I love the thought of trusting yourself by escaping for a bit into a past success or a thing/person that makes you happy. What a nice break from the Vampires!

@Tiffany – So "trust" is a choice?! I love that! I know that's true, but never saw it that way before. I'm starting to think that "happiness" and "success" is a choice, too. Huh.

@Bryce – I like the idea of "just" trusting an attribute that you, uh, trust instead of focusing on some Great Big Trust, if that makes sense. The fact that you trust your creativity leads you right into, well, trusting. It's a great way to make Trust less scary/huge.

@Sonnya – I do that sometimes, too! I certainly have a lot of clients that do it, which inspired the last Tough (Question) Tue, "What can you get out of your head and into your hands?" But I love how you seem to recognize that you know when enough is enough, and that's when you check in and see what your gut is telling you, and you listen. That gut is smart, but you're even smarter for letting it guide you.

@Brenda – You're absolutely right in that faith and trust are interchangeable, really. It made me think that trust is all about being optimistic, and truly believing that what's supposed to happen will happen. Love that.

@Jill – Is there any way for you to see your mistakes as actually important lessons you needed to learn? Or that they paved the way for you to keep picking yourself back up and learning what the right way is for you? I've definitely adopted the perspective recently that failures are really successes, because they allow you to really learn how to improve. I just found this quote that really speaks to this: “Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.” – Thomas J. Watson, former President of IBM. Wouldn't it be empowering to really believe this? How can you?

@Alisha – Yes, intuition! It's the gut that @Sonnya mentioned! Pairing that with positive peeps who believe in you is an unstoppable combo.

@staceys – Ah, maybe here is my next Tough Question: When is your gut feeling a gut feeling and when is it your Vampires looking to talk you out of it? Such great food for thought, and I have a feeling it'll be different for everyone. Oh, this is so next week's question.

@Tania – I have a feeling I'm talking to everyone! I know I'm talking to myself, that's for sure. It is all about moving forward and just showing up, isn't it? If we simply show up and do our work, we're moving forward and allowing trust to guide us. Makes it seem so easy, but I honestly have a feeling that it is!

@Julie – Amen and hallelujah! And ya know what? Once you get clear & true with you, the people who admire you for you will emerge. The ones who feel otherwise aren't welcome here, anyways.

For me to trust myself, I need to just believe that my intuition is my best guide. And I need to surround myself with people who support me unconditionally.

To trust myself, I think that I need to gain some confidence, and get support from people around me. I would love to be able to make a decision and not wait for the other shoe to drop… to know it's right. Maybe it's about making decisions for the right reasons, but what are the right reasons? Argh – being an adult is HARD!