Tough (Question) Tuesday: What will it take for you to trust yourself?
This might be the toughest questions of all tough questions. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were 0 comments, as it would probably leave me running scared if I was a reader here. But yet…this is the point of Tough (Question) Tuesday. To dig. To inquire. To think. To realize. To articulate. To commit. All of that, wrapped up in one tiny question.
And yes, this question is coming from a personal place, as I have less than two handfuls of available appointments for the whole month of August (& it’s only the third of the month!) and yet…yet…something’s telling me to be careful of beginner’s luck, which I feel I had when it came to my short-lived real estate career. While I do feel confident that I’m doing all the “right” things & that coaching will be something that I’ll have success with throughout my career (that is, until I decide to stop working), there’s still that Vampire that’s saying, “Enjoy it while it lasts. The roller coaster has to go up to go down. Watch for the drop.”
So, be here with me & ask:
What will it take for you to trust yourself?
I’ll meet you in the comments along with my thoughts. We’ll hold hands. It’ll be OK.
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Tags: Tough (Question) Tuesday
August 3rd, 2010 at 2:33 am
Tough question. (Hi btw, just found you) ::waves::
To trust myself I have to stop listening to all those fears in the front of my head. Do what I can to secure my basics of life (food, shelter) then walk forward to one goal, then the next.
There, one comment at least.
August 3rd, 2010 at 3:26 am
Hi Mari! Thanks for being here & for answering today's tough question! Super gold stars for ya.
I've been thinking about this since drafting it yesterday (so I totally have an unfair head start) & really think that, for me, trust is taking it day by day. It's when I think of 2015 or 2012 or even, um, October that I start feeling the roller coaster sink. But today….today I can trust. I can trust tomorrow, too. Anything after that, well…I'll trust it when I get there
August 3rd, 2010 at 5:00 am
Hello! Well… What a wonderful question, not easy but really important one. To trust myself I need to stay alone for while, maybe listen to some beautiful song, close my eyes and remembering all great-brilliant-big and scaring things I already did and reach in life – like university, some job I was in the past, an amazing trip, the wonderful husband I merried. A litlle pause to take a breath and then open my eyes to life and start again. Yes! I trust all my powers! I know I can. You too! Let's go do it together!!!
(P.S.: Sorry about my beggining-intermediate english. I'm studying to imporve it soon!)
August 3rd, 2010 at 6:07 am
This might be my favorite question yet! I think that trusting yourself is so crucial, especially when making those hard perhaps not everyone else's ideal kind of choices.
For me, it took a looong time of not trusting myself to realize that I HAD to trust myself. It took a whole lot of making decisions based on what was best for other people and pushing my instinct aside for me to realize that living that way didn't create happiness for me.
August 3rd, 2010 at 6:27 am
Ah, TRUST. A concept that has come up like, whoa, this last week for me. Trust for me, comes from a place of creativity for me. I trust that my own ingenuity, along with other's creative input will allow me to deal from a place of power with whatever I am facing at the moment. I will always do the best I can, with what I have, from where I stand. When the rubber hits the road, I know I'll eventually end up driving, no matter how long I stand at the side of the road wringing my hands and thinking I can't do it — because when you have to, you will. I've seen it over and over. And yes, Michelle, it's totally all about day by day — cause it's all you have.
August 3rd, 2010 at 7:44 am
Well, for me I believe the first thing it takes is "knowing me", being honest with me. That's easy to say and harder to do! My problem is I think WAY too much! I over think everything almost into being paralized! It's a day to day strugle with me! I usally take a great deal of time making up my mind to do something, then I go with my gut! I sit down and have an honest talk with myself and go for it (most of the time) =)
August 3rd, 2010 at 7:53 am
To totally trust myself would be to totally have
Faith in all things in & around me.
To never question that I am right
Where I should be, doing what I should be doing. To let go of all
Inhibitions and just believe.
Faith = Trust
August 3rd, 2010 at 11:17 am
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Michelle Ward and Michelle Ward, Angelique. Angelique said: RT @WhenIGroUpCoach: Tough (Question) Tuesday: What will it take for you to trust yourself? http://ht.ly/2khTJ [...]
August 3rd, 2010 at 2:54 pm
This is a tough, tough question. I have made so many mistakes in my life and have veered so far off of my path that I don't know what the first step is to get back. Trusting myself is hard, because it's my own bad decisions that have gotten me where I am today – how do I know that tomorrow's decision won't be worse?
To trust myself, I think that I need to gain some confidence, and get support from people around me. I would love to be able to make a decision and not wait for the other shoe to drop… to know it's right. Maybe it's about making decisions for the right reasons, but what are the right reasons? Argh – being an adult is HARD!
August 4th, 2010 at 8:47 am
Wow this is a hard question. (And, ironically, what I wrote about this morning in my journal.)
For me to trust myself, I need to just believe that my intuition is my best guide. And I need to surround myself with people who support me unconditionally.
August 5th, 2010 at 9:13 am
Interesting. I really love reading everyone's comments about it too. I was recently posed with an opportunity and everything inside me is saying "no, no, no" people around me are saying "yes, yes, yes". I need to learn to trust myself and go with the strongest internal feeling and being really honest about it (knowing when its truly a gut feeling or just those pesky vampire voices).
August 8th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
Oh. Yikes. You're talking to me, right? I think it is so much simpler than I think. i spend so much time thinking of all the craziness that can go wrong, or thinking of all the things I don't know yet, or thinking of all the things I haven't thought about yet before I move forward. And it often stops me from moving forward. But I sometimes get those moments of clarity, when I realize everyone else has fears as well, and I remember times where I was fearful but just did it anyway. And usually things just work out fine in the end. So it's just remembering that you can have the fears that make you not trust yourself, but just moving forward anyway, through them and with them, and just doing it can give you a lot of pride!
August 8th, 2010 at 6:14 pm
What a question. I'm working on this very hard at the moment, trusting myself, and for me it's learning that what others think of me just isn't important. It's learning that there is no reason to be afraid of anything or anyone anymore.
August 11th, 2010 at 4:30 am
You guys are all amazing! So sorry I'm late to the party, but I wanted to respond anyways!
@Dulci – Your English is great – no apology necessary! And I love the thought of trusting yourself by escaping for a bit into a past success or a thing/person that makes you happy. What a nice break from the Vampires!
@Tiffany – So "trust" is a choice?! I love that! I know that's true, but never saw it that way before. I'm starting to think that "happiness" and "success" is a choice, too. Huh.
@Bryce – I like the idea of "just" trusting an attribute that you, uh, trust instead of focusing on some Great Big Trust, if that makes sense. The fact that you trust your creativity leads you right into, well, trusting. It's a great way to make Trust less scary/huge.
@Sonnya – I do that sometimes, too! I certainly have a lot of clients that do it, which inspired the last Tough (Question) Tue, "What can you get out of your head and into your hands?" But I love how you seem to recognize that you know when enough is enough, and that's when you check in and see what your gut is telling you, and you listen. That gut is smart, but you're even smarter for letting it guide you.
@Brenda – You're absolutely right in that faith and trust are interchangeable, really. It made me think that trust is all about being optimistic, and truly believing that what's supposed to happen will happen. Love that.
@Jill – Is there any way for you to see your mistakes as actually important lessons you needed to learn? Or that they paved the way for you to keep picking yourself back up and learning what the right way is for you? I've definitely adopted the perspective recently that failures are really successes, because they allow you to really learn how to improve. I just found this quote that really speaks to this: “Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.” – Thomas J. Watson, former President of IBM. Wouldn't it be empowering to really believe this? How can you?
@Alisha – Yes, intuition! It's the gut that @Sonnya mentioned! Pairing that with positive peeps who believe in you is an unstoppable combo.
@staceys – Ah, maybe here is my next Tough Question: When is your gut feeling a gut feeling and when is it your Vampires looking to talk you out of it? Such great food for thought, and I have a feeling it'll be different for everyone. Oh, this is so next week's question.
@Tania – I have a feeling I'm talking to everyone!
I know I'm talking to myself, that's for sure. It is all about moving forward and just showing up, isn't it? If we simply show up and do our work, we're moving forward and allowing trust to guide us. Makes it seem so easy, but I honestly have a feeling that it is!
@Julie – Amen and hallelujah! And ya know what? Once you get clear & true with you, the people who admire you for you will emerge. The ones who feel otherwise aren't welcome here, anyways.
August 12th, 2010 at 3:38 am
Michelle,
I think for me to trust myself, I really need to make sure that I listen to myself – not others, not the vampires. I can't embody or embrace or even accept the fears of others and take them on as my own. If they are worried about what I'm doing or would be worried if they were me, that is fine, I can accept that,but I shouldn't let that make me worried or doubt myself. I'm learning that my gut or my first initial instinct/thought is what I should follow and listen to as it is usually the right choice for me. Sometimes this makes me feel a bit impulsive, but usually it is those times I go against what I feel is right or impulsive, because of fear or the fears of others (or because I overanalyzed – spent too much time thinking), I happily end up right back where I felt initially that I should be… just later on and often after a lot of struggle. The biggest example of this is when I went to College – I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed of going to a certain University, but when time came around and scholarship money didn't just come rolling in for me, my parents were worried about me having student loans etc if I went there – so I went to the school that did give me the scholarship money…… within a month of my first semester at college, I reapplied to the Universiy I always wanted to go to and was set up to attend the very next semester. I didn't feel like I was in the "right" place for me at my second-choice school and while the loans do set me back, I have never once regretted my decision. So for me to trust myself, I have to look back to past examples of when I did or did not initially trust myself and where that led me. That way when I start hearing the doubt within or externally, I will remember that I know what is best for me (if only I'll listen and acknowledge it) and to know that the few times that maybe I don't make the BEST choice and I maybe screw up – well that just makes me who I am and is just a part of the story, not the whole story.
August 13th, 2010 at 4:28 am
What will it take to trust myself? Armageddon.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that in a snarky sense. I learn to trust myself when shit hits the fan and I'm put on the spot to navigate it gracefully with only my two hands, my heart and my really smart brain.
In the moment, that sucks. But in retrospect, when I know that I can handle even the worst-case scenarios, it's far easier to trust that I've got everything else in hand.
Great question!
August 13th, 2010 at 11:38 am
@Laina – Oh, that gut, it's so important! While what your brain is telling you is also something to consider, I totally agree in listening to the gut. Sometimes it's really difficult to distinguish it from all those other voices, and it often speaks the quietest, but it always knows what it's talking about. And yes, I agree that the "screw ups" are just lessons to be learned and part of your own journey. Thanks so much for sharing!
@Jess – Thanks for the clarification, you snarky chick! But I so know what you mean. That's deep trust – knowing you can get out of Armageddon. Hopefully you'll never have to face it, though!
December 8th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
Remember the engine that thought he could? Well I think I can, but right now it's all the little questions I have that need answers before I truely trust mself. I think i'm getting there slowly.