Tough (Question) Tuesday: What’s your definition of success?
Success Watercolor by Stephanie Corfee
In answer to the above question: You (that’s who)!
I loved loved loved the conversation about passion that sparked from last week’s Tough (Question) Tuesday, & it made my mind wander over from the word “passion” (whether or not you believe in it, what it consists of, if it’s a loaded word, what it means to you personally) over to the word “success”, & just hafta ask:
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Tags: Tough (Question) Tuesday
June 22nd, 2010 at 4:59 am
Wow. That is a tough question, one that I literally ask myself every day.
I tyr to think about myself as a grandmother, happy, living on the lake and playing with my grandchildren. And in those moments, when I wax poetically about my past, what will bring a smile to my face?
I think that my definition of success is just leading an authentic life…a life that honors my talents and gifts, encourages truth-telling and truth-living. And being able to help support my family using my gifts, talents, and passions.
June 22nd, 2010 at 5:15 am
Would it be too simple to say that "success" is synonymous with "happiness" – my own personal happiness? It's not about the money or the prestige, but about doing what I love, living in the moment, and enjoying the time I have, wherever I am. The biggest question, I guess, if whether I'd consider myself "a success" if I fell flat on my face with the life coaching thing, and I think the answer would be "no", but with a catch. Ya see, just making all this happen & going after my dream (do I dare say "living my passion"?) makes me feel successful. If it fell apart & I had to get a "real job" in 2011 (or earlier), I think I'd do it in a way that would still be aligned with my strengths, my loves, and my values.
So maybe, for me, the definition of "success" is "living by your values, & enjoying the ride along the way." Yeah. That makes me smile.
June 22nd, 2010 at 6:58 am
I'm going to go out on a limb and say something a little more….capitalistic? than I normally tend to believe:
For me, at least right NOW during this I-quit-my-desk-job-to-pursue-my-dreams experience, success is 1.) being able to find regular financial peace and comfort from doing what I love, 2.) having people I respect and admire recognize and appreciate what I'm trying to do, and 3.) being afforded opportunities to continue to do it – so, in another words, being sought after for my abilities.
For me, happiness is different from success, at least right now in my life. I can be happy today, without a dime to my name, walking down the street looking at the flowers and trees. But success for me, at least professional success, is synonymous with a steady income and the respect of peers in my field. On the flipside, I could also be successful in my professional life but still be unhappy personally. Does that make sense?
Apparently I think of the word "success" as having to do solely with my professional life. Happiness is more broad for me. Interesting!
No matter what, though, I love the idea that we each define our own success. That is an invaluable freedom.
June 22nd, 2010 at 7:15 am
I was asked this same in an interview a couple weeks ago. I was completely unprepared for it. "What is success to you, and are you successful?"
I laughed out loud, smiling to myself, and started with a hearty "Yes." Surely "no, I'm a loser and am not capable of accomplishing goals" was not the right answer! Then I verged on panic while wondering, why? Especially in light of my insecurities, the position I'm at in life, how I take responsibility for landing myself here, etc etc. Still smiling, "Yes, I am successful." But then it came to me, and saved me, and it's true:
"Success is doing well that which you value." I continued, "For some people that's making a lot of money or achieving status, but others value different things. And whatever you value, you will work towards it. And when you do that and do it well, then you are successful."
*shrug* I like it. They seemed to like it. And it's made me feel just a little better about some crippling insecurities.
June 22nd, 2010 at 8:19 am
Wow, another topic that happens to have been on my mind lately!
For me, friends have family have been asking what I'll be doing when I quit my job in a month. Well, it's complicated. I'll be "doing" tons of things, starting various projects (charity calendar!), working on new skills and hobbies (photography!), maintaining old websites and blogs, and thinking about future business ideas. But the problem is, I won't be "doing" anything that fits into the definition of things that successful, responsible adults do. I won't be job-hunting. I won't be going back to school for a specific career. I won't be freelancing. And I'm not planning on starting my own business for several years. I'm going to be figuring it all out, seeing what all I can do in a day if left to my own devices. I'm going to see who likes the projects I'm working on. I'm going to plan projects that *might* make me money, *someday*, *maybe*.
If my husband is making enough money to support both of us comfortably, and I am working on projects and things that make me happy, but don't necessarily directly contribute to present or future income, does that mean I am not successful? Does it make me a freeloader or lazy or irresponsible?
I do have ideas for things that could contribute to the family income, but it's not what I'm focusing on. Isn't money supposed to be a means and not an end? I feel so frustrated and stuck, and it ends up making me feel embarrassed to tell people about my plans that I am normally passionate about! It feels like, even if I have supreme passion (my personal definition of passion) for something and work my butt off, I still won't be seen as successful or as acting like a responsible adult until I'm making the $96 a day that I did at the job I'm about to quit =(
Personally, I think we should be able to say a person is successful if they are doing fulfilling work that they love and living in a way that is comfortable to them and does not hinder those around them, and otherwise, however they go about getting there is totally up to them. I am more of a hindrance to my husband when I'm constantly depressed and moping about my job than when I'm home, working for myself, and happy (and spending his money).
June 22nd, 2010 at 9:08 am
This is a great question, and one I am also struggling with right now. I just finished reading "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, and that book throws out any traditional idea of "success" you could ever have {the book is basically about how the fact that we are attached to thoughts and ideas and forms is what causes us so much suffering}. I'm trying to understand that any physical success {in this "material" world} will never make me feel like a "success" (read: happy, joyful) if I'm not feeling that way inside myself. I feel like I keep proving that to myself over and over again—you know—how sometimes, even when things are going really well outwardly, you still don't feel happy internally? Still, it's a hard transformation to make inside yourself—to stop attaching yourself to any idea (thought) of success.
June 22nd, 2010 at 12:45 pm
I don't have an answer for myself but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Everyone has given very good explanations and given me some food for thought.
I'll keep thinking on it and maybe soon I can define what success means to me.
Thank you Michelle and everyone here who has (and will) comment!
June 22nd, 2010 at 1:55 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Michelle Ward, Jamie House. Jamie House said: RT @WhenIGroUpCoach: Tough (Question) Tuesday asks: What’s your definition of success? http://ht.ly/21Hkg [...]
June 23rd, 2010 at 9:21 am
For the longest time I thought that being a success meant achieving goal X, Y, and Z but every time I reached my goals I was left with an empty feeling that could only be replaced by yet another goal to work towards. So I think success might be hidden in the process of reaching a goal and not in the actual achievement itself. I consider myself successful when I'm striving for something I believe in and enjoying the process of getting there.
Thanks for the question!
June 28th, 2010 at 5:26 am
I'm a little late to the discussion but for me success is giving it a 100%. The outcome may not be win every time but I can be proud that I tried and something that probably scared the bejesus out of me. Great question!