You Are Home
live from your heart, uploaded by Deb Did It, found via kind over matter
March 29, 2010
Dear Michelle,
It’s your first day as a full-time entrepreneur! Well, technically it’s your 6th day, but since last week was Soul Week this is your first “official” day. Doesn’t it feel warm? Doesn’t it feel special? Doesn’t it feel peaceful & right? Can’t you get a glimpse of what your life will be like from now on (hint: you call the shots & plan your day around your values & intentions!)? You’re already off to a great start, having showered, gotten dressed, enjoyed a cup of coffee & a bowl of cereal & some time with your Google Reader. Heck, you even returned some emails & crossed some stuff off your To Do List – but you eased into it slowly. And here it is, only 9:30a & you’re already honoring the Me Time you want to have in each work day.
I know it still seems like you’re on vacation. But isn’t that telling – a vacation to you is full of coaching work!? That’s how you know that this is It. This is For Real. This is Your Life, & your career is wrapped tight within it. It’s always felt like a separate entity – “work” & “life”. When have they cohabitated, ever? When you were performing, probably – the summer stock, regional & cruise ship gigs where you didn’t have any other job but to get on stage a few times a week. Did that seem as seamless as this, though? If it did, I don’t remember it well. Coaching, & being your own boss, just seems to flow as a soulful, true part of your life, doesn’t it? It’s not even a “piece” or “part” of your life, because it doesn’t feel like it’s a separate entity from life itself. It’s really, really nice.
You’re worrying about money, though. I can tell. However, is “worry” the right word? You’re not stressed or anxious about it, which is nice. Still, it’s there, looming, that one black cloud that’s threatening to hide the sunshine that’s invaded your world. You look at your client list &, while as robust as it could have been with the day job, you now think, “It’s not enough.” You’re allowing yourself to imagine that worst case scenario, which, thankfully, isn’t too too terrible – just another day job. Part-time, even. But acknowledging that Plan B calms you, makes you smile, lets you think, “That’s it? That’s the worst case scenario? I could deal with that if I had to. That’s not failing. That’s coping, dealing with cards that I might be dealt in the best way I could possibly deal ‘em. I could live through that, & even be proud of it. Easy breezy.”
You’re going to be OK. No – scratch that. You’re going to thrive. Because even if Plan B becomes Plan Right Now, you’re still in the right place – the place that honors your grown-up life & all the goodness that comes with it. You got yourself there, & I couldn’t be more excited for you.
You are home.
Love, Future Michelle
Tags: Michelle's Memoirs
March 31st, 2010 at 3:09 am
Darn straight, girl! You're doing a stupendous job already. I can just tell. Your blog is radiating great energy on this Wednesday morning.
March 31st, 2010 at 3:43 am
Word. I love driving my mind off the "Worst Case Scenario" cliff, Thelma & Louise-style. Because oftentimes, the WCS ain't so bad / won't ever occur / might surprise you with a lesson.
March 31st, 2010 at 6:36 am
I have to say something here, because I am in the Plan B phase right now—although I wasn't nearly as prepared as you are to go full-time. But the plan B phase (part time job for now) is pretty fine, and I'm seeing the day job scenario from a whole different perspective now—after having really committed myself to my real work (art), it's way different. Also, I think I set myself up right this time. I was absolutely terrified about having to get another job, but what's funny is that my art business has been doing the best it ever has since I realized that I needed to get a part-time job, and then got one (trying my best to pick one that would leave plenty of time for art). I just wanted to make a comment from the other side, just to say, it's not that bad over here—it doesn't feel like failure, it feels like a new beginning and a different path. That said, I wish you even more buckets of luck with full-time!
March 31st, 2010 at 10:36 am
That actually brought me very close to tearing up, especially that last bit "you got yourself here" and "you are home". What a great way to coach yourself through a moment. Love it!
March 31st, 2010 at 10:42 am
What a lovely, encouraging letter to yourself. I am still so inspired and amazed by your journey. You will do great!
March 31st, 2010 at 12:40 pm
@Kylie – We need some sunshine through all this rain! Speaking of…I see it now. Hurry up, 70 degree tomorrow!
@Alexandra – I hear that music from every 80s sitcom now, cuing the lesson….:)
@Blue – Thanks for sharing your Plan B experience! I've been following your blog & knew about the messengering, & it seems perfect for you right now. I absolutely feel like things happen for a reason, & the fact that your art biz has been doing the best it has since your Plan B – well, that says so much, & you're obviously on the right path for you. Yay!
@Jadyn – No crying here! But yes, that's so how I feel, & I do hear my future self saying that to me now. It sounds crazy, but it's really peaceful & bright & shiny. It's really awesome to feel proud of yourself, & know that everything is happening just the way it's supposed to. Ahhhhh…now I'm crying!
@Alisha – Thank you, thank you! You've been so awesome with your buckets of comments lately. They mean so much!