Comments on: Tough (Question) Tuesday: What are you worrying about that’s beyond your control?

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 10:42:30 +0000

@Thekla -You're so right – worrying about things beyond your control is really a symptom of not being nice to yourself, & Being Nice to Myself is really the rule at the top of my list. Thanks for the reminder!

@Blue – That's totally the key: "stop worrying, start doing." Even though so much of my situation is beyond my control, I know that I did everything I could to move things along. Taking those action steps was a big comfort to me in reassuring myself that I'll get there eventually.

@Alexandra – Well, that's awesome! And RuPaul has a song other than Supermodel? And ya know, it brings up such a great exercise – having a Stress-Buster List handy full of stuff that makes ya happy. I had my iPhone on Shuffle yesterday & Adam Sandler came on, which always makes me laugh. Despite my craptastic day, I couldn't help but laugh & smile (& look like a crazy person in the process). I made a mental note to listen to "They're All Gonna Laugh At You"whenever I'm stressed/upset, & I know it'll make me feel better.

By: Alexandra Franzen

Alexandra Franzen — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 22:48:00 +0000

Hmm … I'm actually having trouble coming up with something sufficiently worrysome. But then, I've been listening to RuPaul's new album since 7 AM this morning. It's tough to fret with songs like "Don't Be Jealous Of My Boogie," "Destiny Is Mine" and "Champion" blasting in your eardrums.

By: blue bicicletta

blue bicicletta — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:27:57 +0000

Oh, how about everything. I worry about EVERYTHING, even though I know that worrying won't help ANYTHING. I definitely know the feeling you expressed yesterday about wanting to throw a tantrum. What I realize is that if I can just get beyond the worrying and get to the everyday doing, everything will be OK.

By: Thekla Richter

Thekla Richter — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:17:13 +0000

The thing I'm worrying about that's beyond my control is pretty hard stuff and too personal to share online, but thanks so much for the reminder. I try to create mantras about these kinds of things, that I can use to comfort and ground myself when I catch myself worrying about it again. It's hard not to do this kind of worrying when enough is at stake, because I think many of us are wired to feel like worrying about something like that is somehow helpful or constructive and can somehow magically fend off misfortune, even though it's actually a poor use of energy. Recognizing that it's a form of self-sabotage and gently redirecting yourself can help, I think. Sending good thoughts your way!

By: Michelle

Michelle — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 10:18:28 +0000

Thanks for your contributions, JB & Annie! Isn't there something empowering about just realizing that The Thing You're Worried About is beyond your control?

As for me, The Thing I Wrote About Yesterday is absolutely beyond my control (sorry for the crypticness – I'm only doing it 'cause I hafta!), &, while totally frustrating, allows me to (a) absolve myself of any wrongdoing, which is nice (b) see that this isn't The End of the World or The Worst Thing Ever (aka I'll Live!) & (c) forces me to roll with the punches, which I can stand to do more of in my life. While I'm far away from saying, "This is a blessing" or "I'm so glad this BS happened to me!" I am able to say "Ya know what? I'm doing everything I can, & that's all I can do."

By: Annie

Annie — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 09:18:16 +0000

With my husband's graduation from law school looming, I'm worried about his future employment and whether or not I'll be able to attain my goal of starting graduate school. Both are, of course, completely and totally out of my control.

By: JB

JB — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 07:17:35 +0000

People's perception and opinion of my pending unemployment.