I’m Michelle (hi, Michelle), a life coach with a Self-Help vendetta. I don’t believe in the hippy-dippy, but I’m not sure why. Won’t you help?
And yes, this video does win the award for Worst Opening Freeze ever. I do it for you, people. I do it for you.
Also, please note that I’m wearing a tank top. Although, if I kept that to myself, maybe I would have gotten more clients….
Confession: I’m a Self-Help Virgin from WhenIGrowUpCoach on Vimeo
Tags: Vocal Videos
Hi, kids! I'm Michelle Ward, C.P.C. As a graduate of NYU/Tisch's musical theater program & a certified life coach, my path to being a Career Coach for Creatives was clear - I pounded the pavement enough myself! With this blog, I plan on sharing my own experiences as a life coach/performer/entrepreneur, as well as the tips/tools/How To's I've picked up along the way. Stick around for a dose of empathy, a shot of butt-kickin', a wagon full of enthusiasm, & a crapload of inspiration.
Not sure what you want to be when you grow up? Start here!
Know what you wanna be but not sure how to get there? This section will help!
Already doing what you want to do but it isn't quite working? Try this!
December 17th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
OK, Michelle…you are too funny! I freeking LOVE your video blogs. They are the best! #1, it is 30 degrees in NY and you are wearing a tank top, though you look naked on top! #2, the view out your window, amazing! Always record in front of it! #3, we have spoke about this topic before. I am not a "hippy-dippy" coach either. I do embrace self-help, but I do not think I embrace the new-age, law of attraction, blah blah stuff. I believe in it, but only to an extent, not to a science. I believe in optimism and being positive because it is who I am and I don't have to force it. As a coach myself I am a firm believer in the doing, the action, the goal-setting after some thought, but not focusing entirley on the thought process. It works. And that is why, as a Counselor (I have my masters in Counseling), I gear my practices more toward that of a coach. Um, am I making sense here…?
The big message I have for you is, you gotta start watching Oprah. At least read the O magazine. Come on!
Hope we can meet up soon on LI or in NYC and chat more about this.
Happy Holidays! xo
December 17th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Paige, YOU are hysterical. And I know, I look totally nekked! My apartment is a million degrees. The wind chill was literally in the teens today & I had my window open. Ridic.
Thanks for being my ally & comrade. You were able to articulate it in a way that I wasn't necessarily able to, & while I'm totally NOT going over the The Other Side ("if you want a smoothie, think of a smoothie & a smoothie will appear) I am gonna open my mind to things. Maybe I'll ask for an Oprah subscription for my birthday next month…
And yes, you BETTER (!!!!!!) let me know the next time you're in the city! We MUST (!!!!) meet up. Yes, I am bossy.
December 17th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Ok so first of all I am writing you off completely now because I am totally all about the hippy dippy crystal herb tarot card "non sense". ; )
Secondly, I can't say that I am all about the self help book side of that at all. I guess I get my self help from odd places and I guess this is my personal beliefs coming out. For example, the one book I always go to when I am down and in my dark place is "Girl, Interrupted" by Susanna Kaysen. You may have seen the movie but the book has so much more depth and for some reason it makes me feel OK about being as messed up as I am/feel sometimes.
Some other books that I break out at least once a year are "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz (slightly hippy dippy but the ideas in the book are amazing), "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff — and it's all Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson (This one I don't necessarily read, instead I just flip through and land on a random page and read that section and realized things aren't as bad as they could be!) and "The Celestine Prophesy" by James Redfield (Ok this one may be too hippy dippy for you but I love the ideas in the book and they make me think about life a totally different way!)
There you are. My craziness has exploded onto your blog! Enjoy! ; )
December 18th, 2009 at 5:08 am
Ooh, I read “Girl, Interrupted” years ago (I think when the movie came out – Winona Ryder was on the cover) & I totally get your reasoning. And ya know, I have read "Small Stuff" & tried to read "Celestine Prophesy" but remember not being able to finish it. Maybe it's worth another shot? And "The Four Agreements" looks awesome – what great truths to live by!
Thanks for sharing your "craziness", Sara!
December 18th, 2009 at 7:03 am
Hi Michelle,
I really enjoyed your vblog. You were really honest and authentic. And the view in your apartment is amazing! I have been on a self-help journey for the past 11 years but I really did not start practicing or mastering the techniques until 3 years ago. I kept reading all of these self-help books until I realized the authors are basically saying the same thing! I am a self-help addict. Actually, I like the word personal development better. I read a lot of Gary Zukav, Thomas Moore, and Jack Canfield and oh, I can't forget Oprah, in the beginning and really wanted to learn more from their teachers so I did a ton of research. It seems like the self-help gurus of today are recycling teachings from the past.
The book that I would recommend to you is "The Power of Postive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale, which was written in 1952 but the message still applies today. Also, I recommend "The Game of Life and How to Play it" by Florence Scovel Shinn. This book was also written a LONG time ago, in 1925, but again the principles still apply today. Her book is based around the power of positive thought, just like Norman.
I also like Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Don Miguel Ruiz (he wrote The Four Agreements, Mastery of Love and The Voice of Knowledge)and Eckhardt Tolle. Out of all of the Don Miguel Ruiz books, I LOVED the "Mastery of Love" the best.
If you like workshops, you may want to explore The Omega Institute, Kripalu, The Open Center or The Meta Center.
And I don't believe in tarot cards, psychics, or the other New Age stuff. I basically pick and choose what I want to incorporate into my life and into my coaching practice. I hope this helped.
Of course, we can talk more about this over lunch on Monday.
Have a wonderful day and weekend!
December 18th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Michelle,
You are not alone. I haven't read Eckhard Tolle either (have bought his books, but don't feel "called" to read them — maybe one day). I also don't coach using Law of Attraction principles. I'm a rationalist to the core, and while I will not discourage anyone who finds using LOA or crystals or whatever effective, I cannot provide any insight if these methods are not effective. So, like you, I think my "tribe" consists of those who prefer my rational approach (and there are people like that out there).
The good news is that there are plenty of self-help books that would probably resonate with you, and like Anna, some of my favorites have been around for a long time.
I do like The Four Agreements, which several people have already recommended to you. A favorite of mine (and a quick read) is Taming Your Gremlin by Richard Carlson. Martha Beck, a life coach who has a column in O magazine, has written several — the one I found most enlightening is Finding Your Own North Star. A good one, especially for your career-change clients, is The Pathfinder by Nicholas Lore (I like it 10 times better than What Color is Your Parachute). Back to general self-help, I like any book by Barbara Sher (she is very pragmatic). There's a book I bought in the 90s that I really like but I have never seen ANYONE else ever refer to it: Do It! Let's Get OFF Our Buts by Peter McWilliams; perfect for the practical, action-oriented person.
I'm a bookworm so I have plenty more recommendations but I think this is enough to keep you occupied for a while.
December 18th, 2009 at 8:30 am
I haven't read your video blog as my browser has been misbehaving, but here are some I think you might like:
Eat Mangoes Naked: Finding Pleasure Everywhere (and Dancing with the Pits) by SARK
The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin Seligman
Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want by Barbara Sher
I have some more practically oriented time management ones too I could suggest, but I have the impresson you might be looking more for the inspirational sort right now.
Good luck and happy reading!
December 18th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Oh, my fellow life coaches, you are all amazing! Thanks for making me feel like I'm not a "bad" life coach. Oh, & I have read (& done!) The Artist's Way, so that's somethin'.
@Anna – I love that you found that many of these authors were all essentially saying the same thing, & you stripped this back to books that are 80 years old! Amazing. I will definitely be picking your brain more on Monday! So looking forward to finally meeting you.
@Joanne – Thanks for articulating that you would still be able to coach a crystal lover. That's important for clients to know, as we're able to support anyone with their unique beliefs & remain nonjudgmental. I think that "Pathfinder" will be next on my list, as I need more career coaching books & I hated "Parachute" too (I threw it across the room after 3 or 4 chapters). The Gremlin one sounds intriguing, as I'm all about slaying those vampires/pouring water on those gremlins. And thanks for the hidden gem! Any book that uses the word "butt" in it's title is good with me.
@Thekla – Ooh, I love me some SARK – she's always super inspiring. I'll make sure to pick that up next. Barbara Sher is someone else I want to look at, since she's all about Scanners & I work with lots of 'em.
Thanks again to you all! It looks like my library card will be getting a mighty good workout.
December 18th, 2009 at 10:09 am
1. I definitely think, as a coach, you can help people and clients find the kernel of truth or goodness in some self-help books they may be resistant to pick up. Maybe you need to offer a hippy-o-meter in your reviews (if there will be reviews), eg "This book is all five crystals on the hippy-o-meter. That's not to say it's bad, but people who don't share this worldview can be better served by the same insights shared in others books"?
2. I think it's probably worth further exploring your idea of what hippy-dippy is b/c it may be in your market, but just not presenting itself in a traditional way. Isn't wanting to make the world and people's lives better a bit hippy dippy? Isn't falling in love totally punk rock (credit: http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=20)? What about running a handmade business? Or wanting to be an artist or musician?
3. I love the vlogs. Thank you!
December 18th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Angelique, I LOVE the idea of a hippy-meter! I was also thinking about doing monthly book reviews in 2010, so you're dead on with that. And tailoring them to let the non-crystal-huggers know how crystal-huggy the book is would be awesome. Although I have a feeling that I might edit that out before I pick the book up…And yes, I'm totally with you that peace & love are totally punk rock. As are creating a creative business or living a creative life, or really doing anything that is passionate & fulfilling for you – which I never saw as hippy-dippy, but I guess can be classified that way. Maybe it's all hard-core/punk rock. Whoa. Major food for thought. Thank you much!
December 19th, 2009 at 6:53 am
I love you!! I don't really dig the hippy-dippy, though compared to some of my favorite people I am 100% hippy-dippy. That said, here are a couple of the non-Jesus-themed books that I find helpful:
- 9 Secrets of Women Who Get Everything They Want, by Kate White [it's less greedy than the title sounds, more encouraging and fun]
- It's Not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want to Be, by Paul Arden [emphasis on advertising folk, but great for life in general]
-Entre Nous. I'm only giving you the title b/c I'm totally embarrassed at how much I love this book, given that I tend to hate the concept it's based on. But I find it strangely encouraging and grounding somehow.
xoxo
E
December 20th, 2009 at 6:39 am
Hi Michelle,
I am a self help junkie. I was in the midst of formulating a blog post on this for my blog, when I found your post here, so I have to say something. Self help can be very helpful, but it can also be dangerous, because most of it preaches that you need to strive to be better, you're not good enough RIGHT NOW. There is a point where self help does more damage than good for people. I can attest to this. Thinking that "I'm not good enough" causes me to keep reading this junk and forever searching of the golden nugget that will make me whole. It's ridiculous. I wish there were more books out there proclaiming that it's ok to love your life the way it is, and maybe striving for "progress" isn't always the answer. So, bravo to you for never falling for this gimmick! I would say, stay that way!!
December 20th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Michelle, don't worry about being a self-help virgin. I'm SO not into the hippy-dippy crunchy-granola stuff myself.
My stomach churned when I read the Celestine Prophecy. I couldn't make it thorough Eckhart Tolle's book. I think The Secret is a bunch of hooey and Positive Thinking is only part of the story.
What I do believe in is doing things anyway. Even if you feel like crap. And surrounding yourself with people who'll kick your arse if you don't do what you said you're going to do.
So even if you never pick up Eckhart Tolle, you'll be just fine as a life coach
December 21st, 2009 at 4:42 am
@Emma – Thank you, thank you for the recs! I have to admit though, I am totally intrigued by the Entre Nous….I Googled it & it brought me to this website that's all "This has adult material" & I figured it probably wouldn't be a smart move to check that out on my office computer. I'll be in suspense until tonight! You're such a cheeky monkey.
@Torrie – Thanks so much for that reminder. When you focus on Changing, it's so easy to think of all the things that are Wrong with you – instead of the things you already have that make you a unique, vital, fabulous, valued person. Jess Constable said in her Spring intro that her purpose for her blog, Makeunder Your Life, is that you are already enough – you don't need to add anything else to make you a better you. In fact, you probably need to shed some Stuff to let The Best You emerge! That really resonated with me a lot this week, & I'm trying to see what that means for me.
@Alexia – Oh totally – I don't think I need to be a Self-Help Guru in order to be a kick-ass life coach. On the contrary, as I'm here to NOT put my thoughts/ideas/viewpoints onto someone else, but instead to bring out my client's own thoughts/ideas/viewpoints. I don't think I'll ever be a self-help junkie, but I would like to expand my knowledge base & have a wider range of inspiration to pull from! Thankfully I already have the arse-kickers
December 22nd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
OK, I'm kind of a self-proclaimed self-help junkie, although not the crystal and tarot cards side–more the coaching side–I like to read books that are kind of like being coached. One coach I absolutely love is Michael Neill. I like him largely because he is not woo-woo. He has a weekly radio show on Hayhouse radio, and he is really the least woo-woo person on that station–really he's just an outstanding coach. He has written multiple books—You Can Have What You Want and Be Happy Now, to name two. You can check him out at http://geniuscatalyst.com/
Another book, that I'm almost positive you've heard of, is The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I say this all the time, but—that book changed my life. Seriously. I am kind of a bit of a poster child for that book, so if you want to know more about it, or why it was so helpful, send me an email. I think mostly, that book showed me that I needed to do art to be myself and to be whole, and it also showed me how to live that reality. The book has a "spiritual/god" slant, and I'm so not religious, but I was able to get past that and really internalize the powerful message, which is, in a nutshell: artists must make art–for themselves and for the world.
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:50 am
Blue, you're the second person who's mentioned Michael Neill to me – I forget who the other one is. I'll definitely check him out. Oh and yes, I have heard of & have done The Artist's Way (way back in 1998!), but I think it might deserve a revisit. I might totally take you up on your thoughts around it.