Tough (Question) Tuesday: What can you trust about yourself/this situation?
I’ve become obsessed with the theme of trusting in myself. On the brink of major changes – ramping up my coaching business, buying a home, no longer being a newlywed – I feel acutely aware of going through my usual behavior of doing what I “should” (aka what-others-tell-me-to-do-in-order-to-”succeed”).
I’m starting to throw that all away.
Think about what you’re looking to achieve, & whether or not you’re listening to outside voices more than yourself. Now ask:
What can you trust about yourself/this situation?
Another scary one! Hold me. Or, join me in the comments section to answer the question. Either way.
Tags: Tough (Question) Tuesday
October 20th, 2009 at 5:53 am
Ack! Seriously, this is the scariest question ever. I'm so mean.
Well, regarding my move, I can trust that:
* anything can happen at any time. I'll need to roll with the punches as not to lose my mind.
* moving twice & living out of a suitcase will suck. It was be draining & not at all fun. But, I can trust that I will always have a roof over my head & a not-too-terrible train ride into Manhattan.
* no matter where I go, Luke will be with me. Aw.
Regarding my coaching business, I can trust that:
* I'm motivated. No part of me thinks I'm going to slack off or not make things happen. I will so make things happen.
* There will be a learning curve. I will not make $1,000,000 in 2010. But I might make it by 2015….
* I can't control the decisions of others. If it's something not in my control, I'll have to let it go or figure out a way that I can control it (even slightly).
* I'm only one person. With a VA (hi Sara!). I will bite off more than I can chew & will be reluctant to ask for help. I will ask for help.
* I will not be a bag lady. I have too many people that will love & support me even if I fall flat on my face.
* I will be thrilled, thrilled, thrilled to be out of a cube & on my own, regardless of all the fear that surrounds it.
* I will plan plan plan & a monkey wrench will be thrown somewhere. I'll have to learn to roll with the punches, trust my instincts, & go with the flow. Any other cliches to add in there?
Whew! That wasn't too bad. Who's next?
October 20th, 2009 at 8:05 am
That whatever happens, I CAN handle it. It's kind of my mantra.
October 20th, 2009 at 8:48 am
That's awesome, IWAK. Can you share how you trust that you can handle it? Is it just a sense or a feeling, or have you made a list of what you've handled before that empowers you?
October 20th, 2009 at 8:48 am
I am persevering and rocking out two major changes right now too, and coincidentally they are also involving moving and a new career.
In regards to Hit&Runners:
-I know I am a good coach.
-I know I am a smart girl and can figure this out, even if sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel.
-I know it will not be all fun and games.
-I know that I will function much better if I take a deep breath and enjoy the process.
-I know that I am resourceful enough to make ends meet in one way or another while I am working towards making my business a full-time, bill-paying job.
In regards to a big move across the country:
-I know I have great friends out there who will be very supportive.
-I know I can always come home.
-I know I will have moments of gut-wrenching homesickness.
-I know I will run in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains and feel exhilarated.
-I know I will find a way to stay close with my family even from far away because it will be a priority.
-I know there are people out there that will really enjoy and benefit from my services.
I feel surprisingly centered right now. Thanks!
October 20th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Andi – We are so similar & leading such parallel lives in a way that it makes me feel centered to read your comment. I'm also surprised to read that you sometimes feel like throwing in the towel, because you do so much to grow your business, & seem to passionate about it! I know you do & I know you are, & I also know how scary all of this is. The fear of it all is sometimes starting to paralyze me (almost literally), but going back to my Trust List is keeping me moving. That, & knowing that I can not not do this. Y'know how everyone would say, "If you can stand not being an actor, don't be an actor"? I think they should say that about entrepreneurship, too.
October 20th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
This question is right on time.
Yesterday I was trying to solve a problem by turning it over & over in my head (i.e. WORRYING about it). Finally I said "To heck with this. I'll live." And that was the end of that. So that's what I trust – The fact that, come what may, it will pass (the way it always has), and I'll go on living. Until I don't. And worrying won't fix that either.
October 20th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
This may sounds silly, but last spring our family joined a gym (I was previously a couch potato) and I was so nervous to go work out. Nervous I wouldn't do it right or nervous I would fall off the treadmill or nervous I would lose my breath or look silly in gym shoes. But I learned to TRUST MY BODY, trust my physicality, trust my ability to put one foot in front of the other, to keep on keepin' on. It has done wonders for my endurance/physical strength but it has also been a huge lightbulb moment for other things. Realizing I can trust other parts of me too like dreams, ambitions and gut feelings.
October 21st, 2009 at 6:42 am
Having just moved (and still feeling very unsettled), I feel your pain! And I've also been pondering self-trust a LOT lately, so I figured this was a good question for me to answer.
Regarding the new home:
-I can trust that I will adjust to the new environment.
-The boxes will get unpacked eventually.
-It will start to feel like home soon.
-I can take my time figuring out where things go.
-I can love up all the beauty around me, even if things are perfect.
Regarding life in general:
-I can trust my body when it tells me to push or to rest or to connect
Regarding business:
-I can trust that everything will fall into place
-I'm on the right path
-I'm doing beautifully
-Baby steps will get me there.
-It's ok to dream big.
October 21st, 2009 at 7:00 am
Nicole – Isn't it silly that we have to remind ourselves that we'll live? I remind myself, too, that things could be a lot worse (which is sometimes a comfort & sometimes not). I love that you wrote that worrying won't fix not living. That's why my Mom says to celebrate every birthday, since it's "better than the alternative"!
Jill – I know that fear of looking like an idiot! I think that's why women-only gyms like Curve & Lucille Roberts do so well. It's awesome that trusting your body (and probably the success you've had in overcoming this fear) has lead you to trust your dreams, ambitions & gut feelings. Super awesomeness.
Leah – Yay for new homeowners! But the stress – oy. Your trust bulletpoints are so true for me, too. Think all creatives are like this? So focused on end results & big leaps? I'm already picking out paint colors & wanting to order furniture when not only have we not moved, but we don't have measurements, have only seen the place twice & have no closing date! I like trusting that time is on our side, & there's no rush.
October 21st, 2009 at 4:17 pm
I can trust that I'm strong enough to face the Mother of the Beast. And that I will. And that she will be reckoned with and, in the end, maybe not purring like a kitten, but at least tamed to a degree I can live with.
And that's all I have to say about that.
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:07 am
The Mother of the Beast sounds scary! But you sound like you have it under control, which is awesome. Trust, lady!