Wreck This Journal: Standstill for Wusses
Here we are, week 6 of Wreck This Journal, and I’m at such a breaking point right now. OK, maybe not a breaking point, but kind of a standstill. A standstill for wusses. I’ve discovered that I am so embarrassed to do anything weird & public with the journal (like walk it)- or even ask someone to wreck it for me (like one page instructs) – that I just completely, uh, stopped wrecking. For a week. A week! That’s why there was no entry last week, although I came up with various excuses that consciously convinced me that they were the real reason I wasn’t wrecking (although subconsciously I knew better). So I’m still on the “safe” pages, like the ones I wrecked this week (which can’t even be all pretty like they usually are, because Picnik is stinking today & won’t compress my photos! Grr!):
Even though the stamp page has been covered, it’s way too neat & orderly for me. I have a feeling that I’m gonna keep piling on the stamps until we’re officially done at the end of the month.
I could not figure out how to cover the hole at the bottom of my funnel, so the water kept pouring through. I finally stuck my pinky finger in there, filled it up, & drank the water as quickly as possible before it all spilled out. I think I probably drank a quarter of what I poured in there. I was such a water chaser.
I never put my jeans in the dryer (unless I’m not interested in eating or breathing the next day), so I had to dry my page on the drying rack. I liked having it there.
I have so many random items in my purse that I decided to limit myself to the garbage that was in there. As you can see, I had a cold recently & practically live on Orbit gum. I really like the empty pack of gum that I glued on the left page, since it sticks out of my journal & makes it look extra wrecky.
Now don’t get me wrong, dear readers & fellow wreckers – I am having fun with my wrecking! But, I hate to say it, I’m getting bored. I want to go outside & rub the journal in the dirt! I want to live by my Wreck This Journal mantra of Make a Mess, Michelle & do it for the world to see. OK, that last part is a lie, but I do want to take this to another level & I have to get over this shyness (which I’ve never experienced before ever. Really. Not once).
So I’m going to promise you this: this week, I’m going to make myself do whatever page I turn to. I’m not allowed to pick & choose this week! That’ll show me.
Tags: Wreck this Journal
July 10th, 2009 at 7:35 am
Go at your own lovely page sweetie! I don't think a wussie would even pick this book up!
Having said that, Crazy Mel had a friend mail her the "Have a friend do something destructive" page, then mail it back. You could mail it to one of us … I'd be happy to have a go at it, tho you may be afraid to pick me, lol. I bet any of us would be thrilled to oblige!
July 10th, 2009 at 7:38 am
As someone who has never kept a journal I have never understood journaling, however this journal at least peaks my interest and looks like fun. I also like that it challenges you to move out of your comfort zone in certain areas.
As for being to shy to do some of the more public stuff: what is the worst thing that could happen?
Some of them might even be an opportunity: walking your journal in a public place seems like a perfect hand out business cards opportunity when people ask you what you are doing.
Getting someone to wreck a page seems like a good opportunity to give them something in return, like a coupon for a free trial session for them or someone they know who needs career coaching.
I have no doubt you will get around to doing all of your pages, in the mean time remember to have fun and don't beat yourself up too much (this from an expert in the "beating themselves up" category)
July 10th, 2009 at 7:39 am
Thanks, Kavindra! And while I think that mailing the destruction page to one of you wreckers is a great idea, I think it won't be as challenging for me. And, as a life coach, I really want to work past this fear! But thanks for the offer – you're so great to offer your help!
July 10th, 2009 at 8:00 am
I think it funny how we all perceive our own work and tend to knock ourselves out about it…when others look at it and really enjoy it and like what they see! I think you have done a great job so far and I don't even have ONE stamp yet to add to my page! I guess you get a lot of mail!
July 10th, 2009 at 8:28 am
You can do it Michelle, I have faith in you! I am telling you, once you break through that boundary there will be no turning back. Spread your wings and fly my friend!
July 10th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
The first thing I did was break the spine. My gleefully destructive partner insisted that I crack the spine because the page said to. I felt like I was breaking the leg of one of my dogs. I finally caved in and felt sorta OK about it. But I still couldn't rip pages out or, the horror, bring it into the shower! You destroy books when they get wet!
I took a trip to the beach and a few tosses high in the air into the wind to make me let go. I could feel it happen viscerally and I realized "hey, I'm gonna LOVE this". The journal has since been desecrated in ways I still can't believe: my craft group played hackysack with it, it was thrown into a creek, used as a napkin after dinner… I think all of us sooner or later find the thing to do to it that sets us free. Keep exploring!
July 10th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
I say relax – it'll happen when the time is right. But, if you really want to push yourself a little – pull on your acting skills. Pretend you've been cast in a play and you're playing the part of someone who WOULD do some of this crazy stuff in public. Great thing is – there's no cold reading for this role and you don't have to sing 8 bars – unless you want to.
July 10th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
You did a great job. You can take the walk in the back yard or even in the house. It is something silly to do. Big hug. Take care. see ya next week.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
I'm loving the stamp page. Well Done!
July 11th, 2009 at 9:58 am
It's all part of the game, even to discover shyness and being bored, being whatever.
Sometimes you have to shed your skin to safe it! Nobody can tell you what to do, but you can't get wrong by listening to your inner guidance.
July 11th, 2009 at 9:58 am
PS: It's very brave to say: Well, I'm doubting, I'm bored, while everyone seems to have to much fun! That's not shy at all!
July 11th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I need stamps..i guess I will have to order something for somewhee not USA~~enjoying your adventure with WTJ..keep on wrecking
July 12th, 2009 at 4:43 am
What a great way to challenge yourself to get over your inhibitions! Looking forward to seeing the results!
I am having trouble finding stamps myself and look at yours! 
July 12th, 2009 at 7:12 am
I love the page on the drying rack. It is very clever of you to not put your jeans in the dryer. You are giving them years and years of life that way. But you know that already. Clever.
July 12th, 2009 at 10:02 am
I love your stamp page. (I'm a big fan of order.) I like your random things too. Great wrecking!
And, relax, the whole idea is to be you while you wreck. Wreck it your own way!
July 12th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
I've been taking my journal with me to a support group with a lot of immune suppressed people, so I haven't been getting it dirty yet, just so they can still look through it and add to it. BUT, I'm to the point now that I've got to really get to the wrecking part. No excuses.
I had to laugh that you decided to use random items out of your purse only LOL
July 13th, 2009 at 4:21 am
Thanks to all y'all for the support & encouragement! You definitely enabled me to have more of a kick-ass attitude, no matter how scary the wrecking may be for me!
Jeremie – It's never too late to stop wrecking! You can join the blogging book club anytime – we don't finish until the end of the month: http://tnc-wreckthisjournal.blogspot.com/ I love, too, how you took my fears & made them into "opportunities". I can tell that the lessons learned through ICA are really sticking!
Genie Sea & Melinda – If you take a close look, you'll see that I get a lot of junk mail! I only have two "real" stamps that aren't credit card offers & the like. We have two weeks more – I'm sure you'll find some stamps for your page!
Nancy – Mazel Tov for kicking your fear in the face! Love the thought of the book as hackeysack – very performance arty (Nancy presents: Book As Hackeysack). I'm definitely going to join you by kicking my fear in it's face this week!
Kim – What a great idea! I think, too, that what I need is a silly wrecking buddy that will embrace all of this weirdness & will have fun with it. I have quite a few of those, so I'm going to make sure I have the book with me when I see 'em. They can be my castmates!
July 13th, 2009 at 5:37 am
Michelle: Now I am sad that the package I sent you didn't have a stamp on it. I have enough on my plate right now so won't be joining the journal wrecking book club, but thanks for the offer.
However, I would be happy to help with the project, so will make this offer:
If anyone in your "Wreck this Journal" club would like an official Canadian stamp send your address to my email millerjeremie@gmail.com and I will mail my business card (I need practice in handing these out, and there has to be something in the envelope) to you in an envelope with a fresh Canadian stamp to add to your stamp page.
Good luck!
July 13th, 2009 at 5:59 am
You are awesome, Jeremie!
July 14th, 2009 at 3:33 am
WTJ is an amazing adventure, isn't it? And, as in every adventure, it puts up challenges for the magnificent, brave, talented hero. There's nothing in this book that you can't do, Michelle. I know – because there's nothing you can't do! Go find some dirt, darling, it's calling your name.
July 14th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Thanks, Jamie! So glad that you're our fearless leader