My Middle Name Is “Overwhelmed…”
“greener pastures” by happygirl64, found via pecannoot
…no it’s not. It’s Leslie. But you get what I mean.
Ever since my classes ended a month ago, I’ve been walking around with stress in my shoulders and a pit in my stomach and a buzzing in my head that just won’t stop. I feel like I’ve been completely halted – stopped in my tracks because there’s so many different ways to go – yet at the same time my brain is running, running, running.
Now that all my free time is my own again – no classes setting the schedule – I’ve reverted back to my Superwoman self. She Who Does It All. The problem is, this time, I don’t know where to go. I don’t know when to stop. My “down time” isn’t relaxing, or energizing, or fulfilling. I constantly feel like my body is in one place and my head is in another. I feel guilty and frazzled and stressed and on the verge of scream therapy a lot. Too much a lot.
This has to stop. A lot.
This is where you see, beautiful readers, that even licensed life coaches don’t have all The Answers. Even we have to find them for ourselves.
So, here’s what I’m doing to punch overwhelm right in it’s stupid bully face:
* Focusing. Geez Freakin’ Louise, people, the multitasking is stopping now. Those who have been reading my blog for a while know this is a big goal of mine – so much so that “focus” is my word for 2009 – but I gotta really be observant & really be diligent. I’m not going to keep my email open all day. It’s scary, but I know I’ll be more focused if I check once in the morning, once around lunch, and once at the end. Having a near-empty Inbox will definitely get the Overwhelm Monster to start slinking away.
* Get a Filofax. I haven’t used one since around 2002, being sold on the portability & safety of a Palm Pilot (if you lose it, you’ll have all your data on your computer!) and then a BlackBerry. But I’ve learned that I’m a visual person, and I need to see things spread out in front of me: tasks, calendars, goals, important dates. They need to each have their own color & flow in a certain way for me to make heads or tails of what I’m doing. And they all need to live in one place – not a Google Spreadsheet and a BlackBerry and a Moleskine and in various pieces of paper floating around my apartment and in my brain. So I’ve been dreaming of this: 
a Grape Domino Personal Filofax along with all the pretty little paper products to go with it, like these notepapers:
It’ll be a bit of a pain schlepping it around NYC, but I think it’ll really be worth it.
* I’m going to catch everything that’s in my head and make a super-big ridiculous list, from the people I need to call to the passport I need to apply for to trying to register my business (again) to the client follow-up I have to writing a draft of my next newsletter and starting to formulate group coaching sessions…See what I mean here? I was going to do this after the Filofax came, but I think it needs to happen sooner rather than later. As in, tonight sooner.
* I’m going to go through all the papers that are in my apartment, creating a home for some of them, filing others, & trashing the rest. I have a great Tickler system that I rarely use, and I want to see how I can make it work better for me. I want to have all of my ducks in a row.
* I’m going to make a date with myself every Sunday to map out the following week. Nothing cemented in stone…just general waves (waves? that makes no sense but it’s calming me down when I phrase it that way) that will help guide me as to when it’s Me Time, and Friend Time, and Business Time. No, I don’t have to schedule this Business Time.
Anyone have any suggestions to share with how they changed their middle name from “Overwhelmed” to “Breezy”, or just wanna cheer me on / hold me accountable in general? I’d love to hear what you have to say in the comments section!
May 20th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I love lists to organize myself and keep myself from feeling overwhelmed. I usually list out and plan about twice what I can actually get done in a given time frame, so I try to keep that in mind on my lists. The other thing that I try to keep in mind when I switch into do-everything-now-mode is BALANCE. Things like FUN are necessary, and if you don't figure out a way to really relax and have fun (not the "gee I'm accomplishing so much" kind of fun, the running through the sprinklers kind) your body/mind will find a way to shut down all of your accomplishing. When all else fails I pull out my Buffy DVDs and zone out in front of the TV, just to shut the brain down for a while. The whole "being present" thing (especially when I'm doing something "fun") is something else I work on constantly. When I manage it I really do enjoy myself a lot more.
May 21st, 2009 at 4:56 am
I'm in total agreement with you, Sarah (and BTW, the hubby & I have gone through the entire Buffy series on DVD & are final on disc 3 of the last season! So funny that you mentioned that). I am doing a good job at carving out Me Time/Social Time (it's been a challenge for me in the past), but it's tough for me to fully enjoy it because my mind is always someplace else. The list idea is great, and one I'm gonna execute soon with a big fat "brain dump". I think that will slow my mind down considerably so I don't have to be constantly "remembering" things.
May 21st, 2009 at 11:36 am
Great post, Michelle. I can definitely relate! Especially about making a big long list of everything that is on your mind. I am currently working on that and found this list very helpful: http://wiki.43folders.com/index.php/Trigger_List
It's a list of triggers for a "mind dump" as they call it and it helped me put things on the list that I might have left off. You're probably familiar with it, but I thought I'd share!
Caitlin
May 21st, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Wow, so many references that fit my life perfectly in this post:
Many Getting Things Done references, a book which has helped me with my own brain dumps and list making, as well as my filing.
Sarah: I also set twice as many actions each week as I actually plan on getting done. This gives me a reasonable number to deal with, but if I can, I can shoot for the stars.
Buffy references: always a good thing…are you reading season 8? Season 6 of Angel?
Michelle: Don't Panic and try to always remember where your towel is (I am doing a geekiness check with this). You haven't been done with ICA that long, you have a lot of life ahead of you, I am sure you are being much too hard on yourself (I know I am often too hard on myself). I really support your idea about mapping out your week each Sunday and then being accountable for that. Since I have been doing this I have increased my productivity and success with my goals 500%.
Have fun and move forward, even if it is just tiny steps.
Jeremie
May 21st, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Good Lord! Your blog sounds exactly like how my life use to look! I was working as a Resident Adviser in my dorm and literally I was obligated by my job to never let a second go by without talking to someone, filling out some sort of paperwork, or doing community activities. Forget homework. Forget a life. I feel like there are a million things you could do that would help make you more organized or time savers,etc but really all of those things are just small adjustments. It's the mentality that you will make more time for yourself, the mentality of placing importance on being relaxed.
May 22nd, 2009 at 4:34 am
I have a great tip that has helped me tremendously! I'm the type of person that always has new ideas that suddently pop into my head at the most inconvenient times. And, I'm also the type of person that always comes up with 'one more thing…' that i need to do. I used to get overwhelmed because I would try to honor each and every idea and to-do, and I would immediately try to schedule a time to do them, and I would end up with a monster, impossible to-do list for the next day. So! Now, on my phone I set up a memo labeled IDEAS…and another memo labeled TO-DO. When I get a idea or remember to do something, instead of worrying about how or when to do it, I just add it to the respective memo…and…forget about it!! I'm only allowed to think about them during the magic planning hour on Sundays. Every Sunday, I pull out my schedule and my to-do list. Then, at that time, I schedule when to attack each to-do. As for the idea list…I put them in my idea book, and once a month I pick 6 ideas to set as goals for the month. The rest…stay in the book! Until maybe next month. Ahhh….I feel so much better. And, if this makes any sense to you…maybe it can make you feel better to…:)
May 22nd, 2009 at 6:49 am
You guys are awesome!
Jeremie: I have GTD in my apt as I speak. Read it years ago but didn't put anything into action – I think it was way too "big" for me at the time. I'm planning to re-read it in order to take what I want to out of it. Implementing the whole thing still scares me. What do you mean by "reading" Season 8 of Buffy? And no, don't think I'm going to start Angel, at least now anyway. I think we need a Buffy break when this is done. Really liking Season 7 though! And unfortunately (or fortunately?) I have no idea what the towel reference is, but can guarantee the hubby knows
Thanks for the kind words, too. I know I am being too hard on myself – all of this aggravation is 100% self-inflicted – and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that school is over & I haven't yet found my path. It's a total transition & I just need to find my way.
Meghan – Those RA duties sound ridiculous – I don't care if you get a free room! That's nutso. And I totally agree that it's me changing my perspective on things, but I have to figure out how I'm able to do that and believe the new perspective, too. Thankfully, I am taking my 3 day weekend and making it both very easy breezy & really enjoyable – not too packed of a schedule but spending it with those I love. I know it'll make a difference.
Tiko – Although I knew you'd make a great life coach before, now I am really convinced! I have a similar structure in place but have almost forgotten about it – a Brilliant Ideas journal where I would put projects that lived on my To Do List for month. By putting it in the Brilliant Ideas journal, I'm acknowledging their awesomeness as well as the fact that they're not so timely, and I could have them when I "need" them. Love the thought of separating Ideas & To Dos on a daily basis, & I know I'll utilize that in my Filofax (I'm stupidly excited for it to arrive). Many thanks for the suggestion!
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:02 am
Season 8 of Buffy is being written in comic book format and picks up where season 7 leaves off. Not nearly as good as the TV show, but it is a good read and keeps the same tone as the TV show.
Take a break, but definitely watch Angel at some point. In many ways I ended up enjoying it even more than Buffy. It is also being continued in comic book format.
May 25th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Buffy & Angel as comic books? I had no idea that was going on. I'm not really a comic book person, but my nerd husband should love that. And thanks for the Angel rec – I'll definitely take that seriously.