Tough (Question) Tuesday: What would Opposite (Your Name here) do?
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I was talking to my Mom just 30 minutes ago, and she put an interesting idea into my head that I wanted to take to all of you (my Mom has been my life coach since I was born. OK, stop crying now Mom. She’s emotional, don’t worry).
Think of that situation you’re having that is causing you stress / anxiety / a closed throat / knots in your stomach / clenched fists. You’ve tried to solve this challenge before, but whatever you’ve done just hasn’t worked.
Now ask yourself this:
What would Opposite (Your Name here) do?
I’ll start it off in the comments by describing what Opposite Michelle would do! Come join me, will ya?
You can read all of the Tough (Question) Tuesdays here.
Tags: Tough (Question) Tuesday
April 21st, 2009 at 7:36 am
I can't fully disclose my challenge (for another year, I would think), but let's just say it's an all-day anxiety, almost daily. Which is bad, because it's not something that I can step away from (for another year, I would think). So, how do I deal?
I become Opposite Michelle. Opposite Michelle doesn't want to be the superstar. She doesn't hold others opinion of her in high regard. Opposite Michelle does adequate work and never raises her hand. Opposite Michelle's mantra is "I don't care."
I'm not saying that I'm going to become Opposite Michelle now. But I'm liking her more and more when I'm in the anxiety-inducing situation. I like her mantras and the way that they lower her blood pressure.
I think Opposite Michelle – or at least parts of her – is gonna stick around.
April 21st, 2009 at 7:41 am
I'm thinking about the things I angst about, overwork, try to get perfect, figure out, understand, get it right, explore, think of from all sides…
Opposite Jamie says, "F*ck it."
Yep, there's something freeing about that.
April 21st, 2009 at 7:46 am
TOTALLY freeing! I found that, when I feel my blood pressure rising, I repeat "I don't care" in my head until it starts to lower and lower and….ah. It doesn't mean that I neglect what I'm supposed to be doing, but it allows me to not put my emotions into it (which are totally unnecessary in this situation), which is what gets my anxious/stressed/frustrated in the first place.
April 21st, 2009 at 8:37 am
What a GREAT question! Never thought of this before… how do you come up with this stuff?
April 21st, 2009 at 8:42 am
Easy! I'm a genius.
Or a weirdo.
Either way…..
April 21st, 2009 at 8:47 am
Flipsides of the same coin. ;o)
April 21st, 2009 at 8:55 am
Love it!
April 21st, 2009 at 9:05 am
"Opposite" Nicole is as cool as she looks. She knows things will work out, because, one way or another – they always do. And HOW they work out is not dependent on whether or not she allows herself to darn-near have a stroke over it.
(I think "Opposite" Nicole lives on a Caribbean island…)
I love this exercise. It's a way to highlight both undesirable and desirable behaviors at the same time without venturing into "should" land (which tends to cause more stress). Thank you for this.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:22 am
Opposite Nicole surprises me – it sounded like the Nicole that I read about!
Can I visit Opposite Nicole? I wanna go to the beach…..
April 21st, 2009 at 11:15 am
I've never tried the opposite thing, but something that has helped me is to understand what anxiety really is. Anxiety occurs when we are doing something different than what we normally do. That's called growth. So without anxiety, you will never be able to grow to be more than what you are now.
When I get anxious on the way to a meeting or presentation, rather than get nervous, I think about why this is making me anxious and I get excited. My brain now greets anxiety with excitement rather than nerves. Much more fun that way!
April 21st, 2009 at 11:23 am
Thanks for your insight, Drew. My posts last week were around fear, stress & anxiety (you can tell what kind of month I'm having), and I too saw – for the first time – the thin line between anxiety & excitement. Seems so strange if you look at it superficially, but when you dig deeper it makes a ton of sense.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Brilliant Michelle!!
I am buzzing with excitement on this one – Opposite Tara just DOES it without contstantly thinking about it an incessantly planning it. She's cool and people just naturally want to buy her martinis. It's weird that way.
I Love, Love, Love this persepctive, and I am totally going to use it with my clients (I will give you credit all over the place though!)
April 21st, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Haha! This is a good one! I actually like Opposite Day and will try to fit an Opposite Day in my calendar! So, Opposite Merissa would: wake up early in the morning instead of at noon!…for starters..hehe.
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:35 am
Tara – I want people to buy me martinis! Especially chocolate ones
And feel free to use this tool as much as you want! So glad you found it helpful.
Merissa – I think it's impossible to wake up before noon in Hawaii. That place just lends itself to lazy, relaxing days….I want to go back there!
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:50 am
Opposite Jeremie would be an evil Mastermind ready to take over the world with all sorts of cool doomsday gadgets, a book labeled "Plans to Rule the Worlds" (yes worlds plural, you need to set your goals high), and minions….oh yes! Opposite Jeremie would have many many minions, and……
Hmmmm, probably not what you were looking for so,
Opposite Jeremie would keep his mouth shut and not always offer his opinion and insight on a situation. Sometimes opposite Jeremie would definitely be helpful in my life as it would be advantageous to not always stick my nose in it.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:25 am
Ah yes, ain't it tough to keep your opinions to yourself? As you go through ICA you'll be more aware of this, but it didn't help me much. When it comes to my friends I'm a friggin' big mouth!
So I guess I'll look for Opposite Jeremie in the next Batman movie, huh? My hubby would love to play a video game about you.