Kicking Fear In It’s Big, Fat Face!
I’m gonna think of myself as this Ninja Girl this week. Thanks for creating her, StephanieFizer!
This week, I finish my life coaching classes.
I’m still trying to get that to sink in.
This week, I finish my life coaching classes.
OK. That’s a start.
I wanted to write about all of the emotions that are coming in from the 20-month journey that has been The Road to a Life Coaching Certificate. It’s gone by in a blink of an eye and a long, drawn-out journey all at the same time. I thought I would be overwhelmingly excited by this blank slate, this new chapter, this empty canvas that I get to color upon. The fact that, as of 7a EDT tomorrow, all of my free time is mine to solely work with clients and build my business is amazingly….scary.
I want to be able to do nothing but celebrate this accomplishment with a happy dance and a big smile and a “It’s time to climb mountains!” attitude. If you asked me a month ago how I’m gonna feel the day classes are over, that’s what I would have said. But I’m now facing something completely different. I’m facing fear. And anxiety. And stress. And yes, a sort of a sigh of release but also a want to stay put. It’s safe and comfy and warm there. Thankfully, at ICA you’re a student for life, so I can keep taking classes whenever I want. But it’s not the same.
My Tough (Question) Tuesday this week centered around The Scary Stuff, and it was the first time I used that series to seek some help for myself. Thankfully, I got wonderful insights from Carolyn, Jeremie, Joanne & Ann Marie that left me less paralyzed and more go-get-’em in approaching this new part of my life. I implore you to read the comments if you haven’t already. I’m starting to think now that it’s the excitement that’s knotting my stomach and keeping me up at night, not the fear. It’s the “What now?” and “What’s next?” and “How’s this gonna work?” that’s playing over and over in my head.
OK, it’s still the fear. Let’s not totally kid ourselves. But even with this feeling of overwhelm, I’m breathing and celebrating and moving forward. In a session last night with a client, I said, “Ya know, I think part of everyone wants a fairy godmother to visit them and say, ‘In 20 years, this works out for you – do it! In 10 years, this does not work out for you – don’t do it!’ But there’s no fairy godmother or magic fortune teller – you’re here to create that, and go through it yourself, and create where you land at the end. That’s the journey.”
I guess I’m off to create now.
Wow. That feels good.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:18 am
You're gonna be awesome. In fact, you are already AWESOME!
Remember that advice I gave my ten-years-younger self? The thing is, IF someone had given me that advice then, ten years ago — I'm fairly certain I would not have listened to it. I would have thought "that won't work for me." There are some lessons (lots, actually) where you just have to learn the lesson yourself by living through it, making mistakes and learning from them. So as much as we want that fairy godmother to point us in the right direction, well she knows she is wasting her breathe and lets you learn it as you go.
There's a very thin line between excitement and fear. Both are OK — you'll live.
My coach once reminded me: It's OK to be a beginner. Don't expect to have everything figured out or to do everything perfectly the first time.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Whoohoo. When is the graduation?
I think fear has gotten a bad rap. Fear is not a "bad" thing. The fear is just there to let you know you about to do something that you aren't comfortable with. Again – Whoohoo. It is your RESPONSE to the fear that makes you or breaks you. I look forward to watching your response in the coming weeks.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Go girl! Congratulations! This is just such exciting news. But I can see you're filled with oh so many emotions. Once you start building your business and gaining clients, you'll see, it will be great! There is so much support from family and friends, too, so don't forget that.
Best of luck. I hope we can both be a great support system for each other as we continue to grow and learn!
~Paige
April 16th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Joanne – Why are you the Queen of Making Me Remember Things I Already Know But Forget When Applying Them To Myself? I said the same exact thing (seriously, the same thing) to my client this week, too! I want to enjoy the journey – not rush through it or be scared of it – and I want to grow from it. That's part of why I picked "Focus" for my word of 2009. I think that might be the difference for me.
Celina – Graduation is June 2nd! Plan to have a nice group on the phone & do some major celebrating (like finally treating myself to B'way show tickets & a great dinner). And yes, I'm looking at fear now as a blank canvas ready to be painted on, and not a roadblock to rush past. That visual keeps me calm(er).
Paige – I really can't wait to get the wheels in motion! I think that's just me and my lack of patience, & part of where the anxiety comes in – I just wanna be there already! But yes, I will enjoy the ride. I will enjoy the ride. I will enjoy the……:)
April 16th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Yes, it's scary! Of course! You're on the edge of the next big adventure. You are stepping into the next phase of this wonder-full journey of coach-dom. Something amazing and big and exciting and NEW is going to happen next, and it's going to ask more of you and you will give it. So yes, dear, brave you, it is scary – AND you are up to it. You are ready.
But before you take another step. Before you start the next leg of the journey. Stay right where you are in the deliciousness of your learning and celebrate what you have done! Put on your party dress. Make some noise. Drink too much champagne. Slather your office with gold stars. Throw confetti. Experience the joy of reaching this point and know that I'm celebrating with you too
April 16th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I think I can finally take this in, Jamie. You can't tell, but I'm close to tears now, thinking of putting on my party dress & drinking it in. Maybe I'll have to have a big fat party & invite all my peeps & their peeps & their peeps' peeps & throw around my business cards. I was thinking of using it as an excuse to do Broadway with my man (there are so many shows I wanna see!), I need it to be….bigger. Brighter. Freakin' funner.
Wanna come to NYC?
April 16th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Ok first of all, how adorable is your website?!
Fear is totally normal when you're doing something that's very important to you. I think most people avoid doing what they love because the pressure is so high to succeed. And you didn't do that, so you've already won the battle!
Here's another thing from my "things I read or watch when I get down" stash. I think this class is turning me into my mother, who taped supposedly inspiring segments of Oprah for my sister and I ALL THE TIME.
http://www.fluentself.com/blog/stuckification/avo…
April 17th, 2009 at 2:21 am
congratulations! what an achievement! and i think if there weren't some fear, it would be strange. you're stepping into the unknown- that's scary! but also very exciting. just remember that you can have fear and act anyway– then it loses its power.
yay for you!!!
April 17th, 2009 at 3:38 am
Christina – The answer to your question is: extremely adorable. Ha! Seriously though, thanks for the compliment. It's always nice to get the viewpoint of a fresh pair of eyes! Looking forward to reading the link you sent. And don't worry, my Mom has her own LOVABLE quirks too (which I can't mention because she reads this blog).
Jess – I like thinking that fear is a "natural" part of this process. Makes me feel a bit less weird, like "Why is this my overwhelming emotion right now?" Well, it's my overwhelming emotion because it's scary! And yes, it does lose it's power when you put it in that perspective. On to the acting (I'm good at that anyway)!
April 25th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
WOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOOOOOOOOO!
Congratulations congratulations congratulations, Michelle! *Happy dance is happening here for you*
I know you are a phenomenal coach, one with wings that you're stretching and using all by yourself now for the first time ever! And, at the same time, although you're now flying solo and out of the "training nest," (which of course is scary, but you were, after all, meant to fly like this) could there possibly be a more supportive community to be a part of? Methinks not! And given your bright spirit, I KNOW you've made tons of friends/supporters through ICA and elsewhere. Me included!
Shine bright, go get'em, and rock on!
Big hugs!
April 26th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Laura, you are the awesomest! It's so amazing how much support I've found through my "virtual relationships" – they mean so much to me & it's peeps like you who keep me going! I'm planning a big graduation party next month, so I'm planning to celebrate big time. I'm feeling the fear & doing it anyway (or at least drinking through it)!