Tough (Question) Tuesday: How can I enjoy the journey?
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Us creatives are an odd bunch. Yeah, we usually are covered in paint and tap dance on subway platforms and wear all black, but we’re also incredibly focused, driven, End Result people. We want to finish that painting to get it in our portfolio to get the gallery show, and we want to write the book to get it to be a bestseller so we can go on Oprah, and we want to have a great performance Off-Off-Off-Off-Broadway so that agents will see it and sign us and then we can be on Broadway and win a Tony.
But have you felt recently that you’re skipping The Good Stuff in between the start of the process and the Goal? Are you only writing that book to get on Oprah, or is it because you love writing? Are you only doing that show to get on Broadway, or is it because you love to perform?
If you find that you’re too focused on the destination, ask yourself:
“How can I enjoy the journey?”
I’ll start off the comments!
All Tough (Question) Tuesday installments can be found here.
Tags: Tough (Question) Tuesday
March 10th, 2009 at 7:53 am
I think this question is so important, because not only does it help you enjoy the process but it also helps you make decisions. If doing the show isn't going to be enjoyable for you, and you're only doing it in hopes of it leading to The Agent or The Review or The Audition, then chances are it's best for you to let it go, hone your talent and energy into a project you can be passionate about every step of the way.
For me, I have to ask myself this question a few times a day, when I'm searching for The Focus. Reading a blog post that doesn't resonate? "How can I enjoy the journey?" Easy: close out the tab and go onto the next one! No reason to waste time on something just to say that you did it.
I also need to ask myself this when I'm too focused on the finish line, like with building my business and being a full-time coach. There are so many projects, so many To Dos, so many ways I was to rush towards my Goal! But if I ask myself, "How can I enjoy the journey?" I allow myself to slow down, to really learn something new, to envelop myself in it instead of racing on by.
March 10th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I think self-acceptance helps. As awesome as it would be to be on Oprah, I think it's pretty awesome that I get to make a living as an actress. Period. Once upon a time, I felt it necessary to prove that I could do this. I don't feel that need anymore. I just do it because I enjoy it, and if I get tired of it, I'll do something else. I try to acknowledge every little success and allow myself to really feel it instead of checking it off of my list & looking around for the next task. Sometimes I don't this too well, but I'm a work in progress, as are we all. I also try not to let other people "should" on me, and define my goals for myself based on what I really want, not what other folks tell me I should want.
I believe that if our work is a natural outgrowth of our lives, as opposed to allowing jobs (external, temporal situation) to define us, then we can't help but enjoy the journey.
March 10th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Nicole, you are the poster girl for enjoying the ride! I loved reading your blog post today about how you enjoyed every minute of being on set, despite 11.5 hours of sitting on a hard chair and chewing strawberry gum. I can't begin to tell you how many sets and stages I've been on where I was surrounded by complainers. People that were there for the credit, or were excited by the "glamour", and then after an hour they would bitch and moan about going home. Sometimes I'd say, "Are you kidding? Who cares if we're here for 12 hours straight? This is 'Saturday Night Live'! I don't want to leave!" and sometimes I'd just think it. In particularly bad situations I'd be one of the complainers, but I learned to not put myself in those situations often. If you're there to just put the damn thing on your resume already, it's best to not be there at all.
Can I steal the line "not letting other people 'should' on me"? Love that too much. I can picture saying to my clients, "Don't should on me!" when they're using that dreaded word too often, or saying to a friend "You're shoulding all over me!" Gotta make sure to annunciate though or else the phrase becomes a bit more aggressive!
March 10th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Ha! Steal away. I (ahem) 'appropriated' it myself – just can't remember from where…
You are right – say it very slowly or trouble may ensue, lol.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:45 am
Passion leads to progression. To me it's important to be passionate about what I do. I enjoy being around passionate people, passion is contagious, it 'sells'. Passion leads to progression because it keep me going regardless of the little pitfalls along the way. Passion looks for ways around or over obstacles instead of sitting poutingly in front of them complaining. In the corporate world I've been around plenty of people that just want to get 'it' done – "Let's just get it done", "I just want to get it over with". Well, that's nice but what does that attitude really accomplish? Part of the whole process of getting something done, to me, is to learn new things along the way, maybe find a new or better approach. If I keep doing the same thing over and over I will not improve. So if I look at the journey more than goal I can get a lot more out of it. Easier said than done, I know, sometimes we just want to "get it done" and move on to the next stage. But we may actually find that we're sliding right into that next stage while we're still working on the initial goal. We're so passionate about what we're doing that others pick up on it and want to help us along.
I really like this point you made: "close out the tab and go onto the next one! No reason to waste time on something just to say that you did it." Excellent advice! I've done that myself and I watch people do it all the time – doing something just so we can say we did it. That works when it comes to filling a resume with lots of cool titles for that next job (that we're ultimately going to hate) but not when it comes to creativity. I believe whatever we do should have a reason other than "to have done it".
And it that same regard I like Nicole's response: "I try to acknowledge every little success and allow myself to really feel it instead of checking it off of my list & looking around for the next task" That's a great attitude.
March 12th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Agreed, agreed, agreed. You bring up a lot of great points, Thorsten. I think that wrapping it up in passion – why you're passionate about what you're passionate about – is a great way to focus yourself to be part of the journey. Am I passionate about performing because I want to win a Tony? No, I'm passionate about getting the part, creating the character, being part of a team, working with and off of the work & energy of others, and ultimately being under that spotlight and feeling that high and getting that applause. Am I a creative career coach so I can be on Oprah and sell a million books to get my own TV show? No, I'm passionate about being a creative career coach so I can help creatives like myself find a way to fit their passions into their lives on their own terms. Do I want to get the "boring stuff" – like legalizing my business and creating a budget and learning how to install widgets into my blog – over with, so it can be checked off and I can move to the stuff I'm passionate about? Uh, yes. But it's all part of the journey, so I'm constantly asking myself, "How can I make this more enjoyable?"
March 12th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Oh absolutely, there are things we need to do to move on, regardless if we like them or not. We kind of need to check them off on our list (wait, didn't someone just write about a daily checklist…). Those are the positive "get it over with" things, and as you said there are maybe ways to make them more enjoyable. A lot of these tasks can provide some new insight such as creating a business budget which can also translate then into our personal life or installing a widget on a blog and then finding all kinds of fun other widgets that make it more interesting. I more often than not find myself saying "hmmm, interesting, that's kind of cool" afterward.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Absolutely. I think that I've learned it's really about focusing on each and every task you're doing that makes it the most enjoyable it can be. If I'm, for example, trying to find info about legalizing my business while refreshing my Twitter replies and watching TV, I'm getting nothing out of the experience except a "hurry up" feeling. But if I'm going through the books my husband sweetly bought me about legalizing my business with a glass of wine and She & Him playing on our iTunes, it becomes more of a learning, growing, enjoyable experience.
March 14th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
When my creative process isn't going well, it can be easy to focus on getting the end result right, rather than on the journey. When it is going well though, I tend to get quite lost in the process and not give a second thought to anything else. And ironically, that's often when I get the best end result!
One of my favorite quotes is "creativity is the freedom to make mistakes, and art is knowing which ones to keep". I think the pure enjoyment of the process gives you that freedom. Interesting question!
March 15th, 2009 at 7:22 am
SUCH a great observation, Angie! If you have a specific tactic that gets you back into enjoying the process, I'd love for you to share it. The quote is awesome, too. I think it boils down to remembering that there is no "right" answer, too.