Coming Back to the FOCUS
I’m having a bunch of revelations this month. It’s odd. I feel sick, run down, stressed, sulky – but yet my eyes are open to a lot of things that need to change.
At ICA, my coaching school, there is a lot of talk around a UAC, or an Underlying Automatic Commitment. This is something that everyone has, lurking there under the surface, telling you how to behave. Your UAC could be that candy makes you happy, and that’s why you haven’t been able to lose those 10 pounds. Your UAC could be that you shouldn’t attempt to do anything if you’re not perfect, and so you never start projects you’re dying to try. I have a few UACs myself, but I think I hit the motherload.
My biggest UAC is this:
Being busy in the same as being productive, and being productive is being successful. Therefore, busy = productive = successful.
Huh. I think I really do believe in that equation, which is mind blowing as I look at it now. If I’m busy, it must mean that I’m wanted, or worthwhile, or smart, or popular…And if I’m all those things….then I’m a success! That’s why I have allowed myself to become so ADD-like in recent years, often keeping a dozen browsers open while I start one task while abandoning (or “just stepping away”) from the other. But while my ADD tendencies are fairly new, the busy-ness isn’t. When I was in elementary school I’d be balancing school and homework with piano lessons, Hebrew school, plays, soccer, baseball, & play dates. And that’s when I was 9!
I recently commented on Danielle LaPorte’s post about entrepreneurial time management, asking what she suggests someone with a full-time job, school, a new marriage, and a coaching business that’s on the ground floor should do to best utilize her time/not pull her hair out. Her answer was both eye-opening & insightful:
say no to more. let go of a few commitments.
make sure you have a sacred place at home to do your work.
get a support network in place – a mentor, two fellow entrepreneurs to jam with.
go easy on the Twitter and Facebook time – use it as a tool to create community and spread your love.
ruthlessly purge stuff from you living/working space
have just 3 goals for the year
be compassionate with yourself–everything is progress!
Having 3 goals a year scares the crap out of me (that’s only 1 goal every 4 months! I should have 10 for the same time frame!), but if I start there…..that’s progress. That’s focus. If I got together some other peer coaches from school to talk about the business building aspect…..that’s focus, too. And recently I’ve been dreaming about where I would want to make my coaching calls from, and all I can think of is a bright orange circle chair (like this, but orange) in a nice big office/studio. While I don’t have an office or a studio (or a circle chair at all), I need to find the best space that I do have to work with, so I know when I’m there it’s coaching time. Focus time. Gettin’-down-to-business time (not to be confused with Business Time).
I’ve already determined that my word for 2009 is FOCUS. Now I’m gonna implement that….
February 11th, 2009 at 5:14 am
hey hey – thanks for the props!
here's a tweak to the 3 goals/year…it doesn't necessarily have to be 1 goal per 4months. You could have 3 major goals that run through the year and break them down into quarterly milestones.
And, I gotta say…I'm not a very goal-oriented person, so my "goals" tend to be very sweeping and general, like, "get whopping book deal", "heat up marriage to blissdom", "make sure the kid is uber healthy and stimulated."
The UAC perspective is really intriguing. I'm going to think on what mine is….
thank you.
Love
Danielle
February 11th, 2009 at 6:38 am
Oh yeah – I wasn't looking at the goals so mathematically. I think I used that equation to see how little it seems to me! I love the Big Idea goals that you shared above so much though. Instead of "When I Grow Up: Business Building" it could be "Make When I Grow Up a Kick-Ass Business!" Much more fun.
Let me know if the UAC thoughts come into focus for you, Danielle. While recognizing the UAC doesn't "cure" you, it's a big fat step in recognizing it & staring it in the face. Now it's what I do with it that's tough….
February 11th, 2009 at 7:46 am
Thanks for sharing your breakthrough. I know I really love doing a lot of things at one time! It feels exciting and inspiring…to a point. Once I need to go below the surface on any one thing, I have to focus on only that one thing. I do, however, allow myself time to scan – and that is my ADD mode! Many a great idea has come from that time.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts
February 11th, 2009 at 7:53 am
Can you expand on the positive stuff that comes out of your "scanning" time, Linda? I'm honestly having trouble grasping the good that's come from this UAC…..Mostly I just get a feeling of overwhelm, & like I "forget" something….
February 11th, 2009 at 8:28 am
Oh, I totally relate to the ADD feeling, especially online! Ever since I was a baby I've been afraid to miss out on things, which makes it hard for me to sleep until I'm so tired I just pass out rather than lie awake thinking of all the other things I could be doing.
I think what I'm finally starting to figure out is that there really is TOO much information for one person to absorb and too many things for one person to do. There's something like more than ten hours of content was uploaded every minute to YouTube alone! We have to start learning how to put filters in place for ourselves. I heard the analogy applied to Twitter that it's best to treat it like a cocktail party, and I think it applies to plenty of other online sites as well – don't expect to follow every conversation in the room. Drift to the ones that engage you naturally, have a good time, make connections that you may strengthen or deepen later in a setting more appropriate to doing so.
Do you think you can come up with a new equation for success that you can remind yourself of any time the old one starts shouting at you? Like "Thanks for looking out for me UAC, but remember, there's a new equation now, Success=__________"
February 11th, 2009 at 8:40 am
I know the feeling, Heather! Didn't you feel when you were little that there was a big, fun party that happened while you were sleeping? I know I did! Now I LOVE to sleep, but I still feel like wherever I'm not is where I SHOULD be, so I sometimes try to be everywhere….
That YouTube stat is staggering! But believable. Thankfully YouTube is NOT one of my obsessions. I appreciate that it's there, but I can leave it alone. And truthfully, now that I follow so many people on Twitter I usually only throw my tweets out & converse with those that respond. No time for the feed! I wish there was, but it's just not plausible. I like thinking of it as a cocktail party (esp if it means that I can have a cosmo while I tweet….)
I LOVE (love love!) the idea of a new equation! I think it has to be FOCUS + COMMITMENT = SUCCESS! I'm big on the word "commitment" – just saying it makes a difference in my, uh, commitment level.
February 11th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
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February 18th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
[...] the last 12 weeks – just not my definition of “action.” Which led me to think about my UAC, this nonsense that busy = productive = successful. There are successes that can’t be seen or [...]