Tough (Question) Tuesday: Which of these commitments energizes/depletes me?
Think of all of your your committments, everything you’ve said “yes” to or know that you will/would say “yes” to when/if the situation arose. These committments can be tasks, or they can even be people that you’ve surrounded yourself with. Got ‘em in your head? Good.
Now ask yourself:
Which of these commitments energizes me?
Which of these commitments depletes me?
Be quick – don’t think about it. Something or someone is going to pop into your head, and before even words are formed you’re going to get a feeling….a warm and fuzzy feeling, or a headache. You’ll know right away which column to put that commitment/task/person in.
Now keep that energy/depletion list with you so you’ll know when to say “no”. Or look at the list, internalize it, and make a commitment to yourself to go with your gut when someone offers you something. Don’t talk yourself into anything, don’t logically give yourself a reason “why”. If someone asks you to dinner on Thursday, and it leaves you with a feeling of obligation and overwhelm, just say “no”. Or if that person gives you the warm & fuzzies but Thursday is The Day Of A Million Errands, offer up your free time.
I’ll share my Energy/Depletion List (or, as I like to call it, my This Rocks/This Sucks list) in the comments section. Please join me!
The Tough (Question) Tuesday series can be found here.
Tags: Tough (Question) Tuesday
January 13th, 2009 at 5:10 am
THIS ROCKS:
* my "true friends" who bring positivity and support into my life. They know who they are, and finally, I do too.
* my ever-growing family: the Cains, the Solomons, the Wards
* coaching
* building When I Grow Up, a continuous energetic project
* coaching classes
* performing, but only in a supportive & professional environment where I get to grow. That's all
THIS SUCKS:
* my "friends" that brought a negative energy/eternal bitch sessions/huge egos to our friendships. I feel like I have recently found the courage to say "no" to these people and feel free of them. I know I sound a bit dramatic but this was a huge step for me, especially as a people pleaser who felt that the quantity of my friends was important.
* some coaching class requirements, unless I personalize them. They have to get done, though!
* cleaning. Ugh, I hate it.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
ooh I love this idea. I want to start my own list! I have a feeling the
Sucks" list for me is going to be a lot longer than my "Rocks" list. But I can use that as a challenge; to increase the Rocks and decrease the Sucks. I have learned to say No but I don't say it often enough, as I am a recovering people-pleaser too.
I'm with you on the coaching class requirements. Now that I've graduated I guess I can admit there were some requirements that I was really not jazzed about. In fact I recall grumbling about a few things. But yes, I did them and moved on, as you will.
Another option for your Sucks items (besides saying no): delegate them, outsource them (like your cleaning), do the bare minimum.
Some advice I got from Karen Cappello for when you are unsure what you are feeling: If it's not a "hell yes" then it's a "hell no." I think I might label my two lists accordingly.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:25 am
I love the Hell Yes vs Hell No list! Much more concrete in my head, though. If I put, for example, hot yoga (where they make you do yoga in 100 degree heat – I just don't get it) in the Hell No list it would seem a bit more cemented that I will NEVER do that. Semantics…..
But delegation & outsourcing is always good. Would love to get a VA as soon as my coaching takes off!