Stuck in the middle with….OK, I was gonna say “you” but that doesn’t apply to this post.
I have a smart, smart husband. He’s the calm sea to my storm, and always helps me quiet my brain & puts my worries/anxieties/stress to rest. It doesn’t hurt that he’s super cute & very funny, too! But I digress…..
We were talking this weekend about work, and our passions, and how I feel like there is just so much I want/need to do! Things that I don’t have the time, or the energy, or the money for. The things, though, that I am doing are causing me worry/stress/anxiety because I feel like there’s not an end in sight. I want to grow my business, I want to do a show, I want to call my friends, I want to have some alone time. And no matter how many business building activities I do (Twitter, anyone?), or how many times I speak to the Artistic Director of Opening Doors, or how many friends I catch-up with, or how many hours I spend reading the paper and drinking my coffee, there’s just no end in sight. No wrap-up. No doneness. Is doneness a word? I don’t think so, because my spell check is underlining it in red. But “doneness” expresses what I feel so I’m keeping it.
My husband listens to me ramble, and sees me getting discouraged, and says “Michelle, you are one of the most driven people I know. You just don’t say you’re going to do something, & start it, & then walk away – you finish it. But right now you’re in the middle. You’re not just starting coaching, and you’re certainly not done with it – you’re in the middle, right before becoming certified and being able to devote more time to your business. Your acting stuff was neither here nor there this year because you didn’t have the time, so you’re in a holding pattern there. Your day job didn’t just start and you’re not about to leave, so you’re stuck somewhere in the middle of that timeline too. But once you graduate, and once you get on stage, and once you know that you can make your living at coaching – it’ll be a whole new ballgame.”
OK, so in reality he might have said only the 1st 4 sentences of what I quoted above, but he might as well of said it all. All of those thoughts came into my head, and they gave me new energy to just keep going! I think I am someone who’s had so many stops and starts, so many passions, so many friendships and so many day jobs – I’m excited by the starting, I’m usually even excited for the ending, but it’s when I’m stuck in the middle that I get the itchies.
I think I’m just going to keep on scratching.
